Holding On & Letting Go
by LedgersIrishCharm
Summary: When Ana found out she was pregnant Christian wanted nothing to do with her, not out of hatred but out of fear of becoming a father. As he walks away he doesn't expect Ana to keep the unborn child. Since little Teddy Grey came into the world, Christian wants to be a part of his life but can Ana ever forgive him for walking away from her nearly a year ago ? Part 1 of 3
1. Along came Teddy Grey

A/N I have already started a few other stories so I am hoping I can continue to write and finish all of them so we will see how this one goes because I am really enjoying writting Give A Little Time To Me.

Another go at a Christian and Ana story.

Well here goes the first chapter.

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"_Ana I need you to leave" Christian said as Ana began to cry "Anastatia do not start this now, you were careless when you knew you were supposed to take that god damn pill every day. It's not that fucking hard to remember. Christ Ana how could you be so stupid? For a bright well read woman you really are silly sometimes ? I can't be a father yet. It's too soon, fuck, you haven't seen the world or experianced a few years of marriage"_

"_If that's where your heart lies Christian I won't be needing this then" Ana slid her wedding ring off her finger and placing it in Christian's hand and returning to their room and packing her bags. She sobbed the whole time she continued to take her clothes from her closet and throw them into bags. Christian knocked and came in looking quite hurt "Ana you don't need to take off your ring"_

"_I do Christian"_

"_But why ?" he couldn't understand why she would take it off , he didn't want her to but he was giving her no choice but to do this_

"_Why?" she shouted through her tears "Why? Christian you don't want this child and your throwing me out so you can keep it the same way I will keep this child, our child but since you don't want anything to do with it then I will raise it by myself. So that is why I do not need that ring Christian, I am no longer yours" she picked up her bags and was met by Taylor who took them off her by the front door looking sad on her departure. All of Christian's staff were very fond of Ana especially Taylor and Mrs Jones, they were around her the most. "Oh and Christian these belong to you" she handed him a box with her laptop, blackberry, iPad and car keys in them. _

"_Ana they're yours, I bought them for you" he was about to push the box back when he felt like he was hit with a slap into the face with her words_

"_I don't want anything other than my child that will remind me of you. Goodbye Christian" she walked out the front door and it slammed leaving the echo and a sobbing Christian behind, Ana's tears were forming again. "Here Mrs Grey" Taylor handed her another handkerchief like last time she said goodbye "Taylor please it won't be Mrs Grey for much longer, just call me Ana" she smiled through her tears_

"_I'm sorry Ana" he turned back around in his seat as he drove her to her old apartment where she was left to cry with the memories she had of the happy times of her and Christian but this time it was for the best she couldn't go back to him after those words. She would provide for her child by herself without the help of her former lover and probably soon to be ex husband, Christian Grey._

_She_ _pulled out a picture of her and Christian on their honeymoon when she sat on his lap as she stretched an arm out to take a photograph of them both with his new camera she bought him. She smiled at it before placing it under her pillow and crying herself to sleep holding her hand over her stomach "I'll look after you" she whispered_

* * *

"Alright Mrs Grey, I am going to need you to push I can see the head" Doctor Maguire said as Ana as she remembered the day she left Christian, for nine whole months she cried day and night over him. She couldn't understand why he didn't want to be apart of this child's life, their child.

"I can't" she sobbed harder

"Mrs Grey you can do this come on just a few more pushes and your little fella will be in your arms" Dr Maguire smiled to reassure her and even with exhaustion and pain she nodded her head still crying "Alright we're going to count together Mrs Grey" she began pushing and counting along with her doctor

"1,

2,

3,

4,

5,

6,

7,

8,

9,

10." Dr Maguire shouted as the little baby came out and his little wails filled the room. Ana burst into tears of happieness as her son was placed in her arms. Dr Maguire cut the cord and he wiped the baby down and they weighed him.

"A fine healthy baby boy Mrs Grey, have you any names?"

"Theodore Raymond Grey" she smiled

"A fine name for this little fella" Dr Maguire smiled as she cradled the baby in her arms and stepping out of the room.

"Teddy" she whispered as she kissed his head "My little Teddy" she cried her eyes out "You look so much like your daddy, I wish he could be here to see you" Teddy fussed in her arms but opened his eyes wide looking up at his mother as if he was listening to her. "Look at your eyes, you have your daddy's eyes" she smiled through the tears "My little boy, I'll look after you, I won't walk away"


	2. Now You Want To Know ?

A/N I am actually really shocked by all the reviews the first chapter has gotten in a matter of hours, I am reading through them all and no I am not going to just jump straight in and let Christian and Ana get back together, after being away from her for the whole of her pregnancy she'd hardly dive back into his arms well I sure as hell wouldn't, I'd make the fucker suffer for leaving in the first place.

I have also been thinking quite hard how I want this story to go so it doesn't turn out crappy and I end up leaving it unfinished like most of my work lately. I hope you can keep with me through this story and I also hope you will understand if I can't update quickly.

So here is the second chapter, short but here it is, you either like it or lump it, your choice.

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Oh Ana hunny he's so tiny, he's perfect" Carla cooed over her newborn grandson, although she felt differently 9 months ago when she heard the news Ana was pregnant and after leaving Christian, she feared she'd end up like her, a single mother who re marries several times before settling down."He looks so much like Christian but he has your hair colour" she smiled through the tears. "Ana I am so proud of you" she kissed her daughter's head when Ray burst through the door "Where is my grandson? I want to see him"

"Right here Ray look at how cute he is" Carla handed the baby to Ray when tears formed in his eyes. "You done good princess" he kissed Ana's forehead

"Thanks dad" she sunk back into the hospital bed exhausted

"What is this handsome devils name then ?" he rocked the infant in his arms

"Theodore Raymond Grey" Ana beamed proudily, Ray was barely keeping it together when he heard his name come out of his daughter's mouth "Teddy for short though" she smiled

"He's a cute little fella, too much like his father for my liking" Ray's voice was full of hatred at this moment, he didn't take to kindly when Ana told him the truth of why she left or was told to leave

"Dad" Carla had just left to call Jose and Kate to tell them the news so she hadn't heard Ray's harsh words

"No Ana, I know what happened. Your mother just thought you were afraid of him finding out, he kicked you out of your own home, you barely knew each other before you married and got pregnant. How could he walk away from both of you?" Ray was rarely angry but when Christian had promised to look after Ana he put his faith in him.

"Dad can we not do this now? I'd rather not dwell on the past. Christian chose to walk away, I know he made you a promise to care and cherish me until death do us part but when I found out I was pregnant he wasn't happy, he said it was too soon. He was giving me a choice, either him or the baby and I cose the right one. Something someone should have done for him when he was little, I chose our baby over him. You might think it's the wrong decision dad but I think this has been the best one I have made so far" Ana was on the verge of tears as Ray moved to sit by her bedside handing little Teddy back to her

"Ana I didn't mean to upset you, I know he cared for you and you cared for him but I don't understand why he wouldn't want to stay with you because you became pregnant. This is just as much his fault as yours. Now your left to look after him by yourse-"

"Dad please I don't need Christian to help me raise a child, he made his choice and so did I so can we just drop all this, I don't want to be crying when Kate and Jose get here" she sighed as her father's words were sinking in. She just wished Christian could be here to share the joy of their newborn son but he walked away, something he promised he would never do, something he begged Ana not to do several times even after she uncovered the truth behind the way he is, he broke his pomise, he broke her heart.

"I'm sorry princess" he said and hugged her as Kate, Jose and Elliot came through with an excited Carla

"Elliot?" Ana looked shocked to see her brother in law standing there beaming holding a bag full of presents for Teddy

"Congratulations" he moved handing the bag to Kate as he wrapped his arms around her carefully not to squeeze the bundle in her arms "So this is my little nephew huh?" he smiled at her

"Elliot?" Ana was confused, she had barely seen Elliot the past year and it was like she had only seen him yesterday with the way he treated her. She was expecting about 20 questions as to why she left Christian, so the story was told. But he was the same old carefree Elliot that she remembered.

"Can I hold him? His eyes full of excitement, the same twinkle Christian held when he was really happy.

"Sure" he carefully accepted the swaddled bundle in his arms and when the infant opened his eyes Elliot's breath hitched "He really is like Christian" he whispered "I got you a few things, well Kate picked them out, I paid" Kate giggled as she went to sit beside Ana and Jose sat with Ray in deep discussion.

* * *

"Kate" she threw her arms around her bestfriend, she needed her now but she couldn't cry with all these people here they couldn't know the full truth behind it all. "Ana" she couldn't hold back the tears "I really am so happy for you. I don't know why I am crying"

"So Kate isn't the ice queen?" Ana teased as Kate just laughed

"Ana, Mia wants to see you so does Carrick and Grace. They really miss you" Kate whispered in her ear as Elliot cooed over his new nephew "So does Christian he really is in the dumps since well you know"

"Kate please" she whispered back as she looked around the room to see if anyone was listening "Don't do this now, I don't need to talk about him"

"Ana I know he is not a saint and what ever happened he is to blame as much as you in this but I have seen him over the past few months and he really is hurting, he asks about you all the time"

"He tries calling everyday Kate, he sent me my blackberry and car back about 3 months ago, he has emailed me everyday, gotten Taylor to swing by checking in and sending over supplies for Teddy and even put money into my bank account. I don't want him to help me, he made his decision when he walked away" Ana closed her eyes at that last part

"Elliot told me Ana, we know it wouldn't of been you to walk away, but Elliot said he was scared"

"Kate I am done with him, I went through hell with him jsut to marry him and I can't do that again especially after the way he spoke to me on that night, Kate you should of heard him, he was so angry when I told him about the preganancy he couldn't bare to look at me. It wasn't my fault I forgot my pill with everything that was going on in our lives it really did slip my mind and it takes two to tango. It's also his fault too" she whispered the last part before she broke down in tears. Ray was up to his feet and Elliot was placing Teddy in his hosiptal crib moving to Kate's side "Ana you need to rest princess, I think it's time we all should go" Ray said as every pilled out of the room.

* * *

Jose was last to leave, he wanted to see Ana before he left, he barely got a look in when Kate and Elliot arrived."Dios mio Ana" Jose hugged her as she cried a bit more "I haven't seen you this upset since we started college" Jose tried lightening the mood

"Thanks for coming to see me Jose, your a really good friend" he smiled as he released her

"Ana you need to smile, you got that little bundle of joy and no one likes a sad momma" she giggled at him

"See that's better, I know it's been hard for you Ana but something good came from it and it's that baby, your son. I know him resembling Christian may make things harder bu-"

"Jose Rodriguez your the best friend a girl could ask for" she smiled at him causing a blush on his cheeks

"I'll see you around Ana" he went to the crib as he looked in at Teddy who was wide awake "See you too baby Grey" he held his tiny hand before leaving.

Ana was alone, it was killing her, even with her family and friends around her she still felt alone. She just wanted Christian to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright, she had nothing to worry about but it wasn't that way anymore. Christian's arms, being in his presence reminded her of home but now she didn't know where to call home. She looked over to her tiny son and she smiled slightly as she thought "You're my home now Teddy" she got out of bed and picked up her son to hold him close in her arms

"My little Teddy" she kissed his little cheeks as she rested contentedly in her arms. She closed her eyes relaxing with just the presence of her son when she heard that all to familiar tone, that bleeping noise that sounded on her blackberry. She closed her eyes tighter before opening them, she sat on teh bed cross legged with Teddy laying before her as she leaned across to the dresser grabbing her phone. She eyed it for several moment before clicking the icon to check her emails, she prayed it wouldn't be Christian but she knew too well it was, he tried contacting her everyday whether it was by phone, text or email. He never showed up though, well as far as Ana knew he didn't show up. She opened the email and she read

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **A Baby Boy?

**Date: **6th July 2012 15:05

**To:**Anastastia Grey

_Elliot told me the news I wanted to say I am delighted you followed your heart when you went against me all those months ago. Elliot told me he looks like me but he has your hair colouring. Mia has been bugging me all these months, she has been dying to see you, as have I. From what I hear from Taylor you had a rough time during preganany but it made me angry you refused my gifts. I know you Ana, you want to do this youself but you don't have to I would like to help in any way I can. Ana I miss you and I regret forcing you to walk out that door. I need to see you, both of you. You don't know how hard it's been trying to stay away having other people visit you or hear how you were keeping through others. Please consider seeing me Ana, you really don't know how sorry I am, I miss you x_

Christian Grey

Sorry & Heartbroken, CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc.

* * *

"Why does he do that?" Ana shed a few tears as she read the email over and over again "Oh Teddy why does he make me feel like the guilty one, made him feel like this. He walked away, he threw me out" she sobbed "No I can't walk back to him, not this time" she grabbed her blackberry and began furiously typing pouring her heart into this email.

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Grey **Steele**

**Subject: **Sorry & Heartbroken?

**Date: **6th July 2012 15:30

**To:**Christian Grey

_Sorry & Heartbroken? Christian I refuse to believe you are actually sorry and as for heartbroken, I cried for you all throughout my pregnancy wishing you would come and find me, hold me, kiss me and tell me things would change, it would get better, I was wrong. I am beyond furious with you, you don't show your face for a whole 9 months, you make Taylor and your PA do all the digging on me to find out how I was doing because you were too cowardly to come and see me. To answer your question yes my pregnancy was hard, much harder considering my '**HUSBAND' **threw me out and expected me to go it alone, my labour was twice as hard, I only had my doctor there to encourage me during it telling me how brilliant I was doing and how it will all be over once I have '**OUR SON'** placed in my arms. Christian I was heartbroken you were not there for me, you missed that, you chose to miss that, I am done missing you Christian. _

_You promised me all those months ago you wouldn't leave me, you even begged me not to leave if you remember, you were afraid if I found out your past I would run. I didn't '**I STAYED' ** you ran when the going got tough, Christian I was scared, I was only 21 newly married and you wouldn't look at me all because I wanted this child, It was not my fault your pyscho ex's and ex subs threathening us made me forgot my pill, I was under the same stress you were, If I recall a baby is made by two people not just the one. I wouldn't change my decision to leave and have him if it meant going back to the way things were because having him was the best decision I have made in a long time._

_As for considering even seeing you Christian, I'd rather not see you because who knows how I could handle even being around you after being away from you for so long. Mia,Carrick and Grace are more than welcome to visit and I might even take Teddy to see them when I am discharged but you Christian, I just can't bare it. _

_All those gifts you sent will be used for Teddy but you cannot buy me back Christian with pretending you actually care, if you really were serious you would have stopped me walking out that door instead of forcing me to leave. _

_I've had enough Christian, I won't stop you seeing your son because as much as I am angry I will not let my son go without a father, I will make arrangements with Elliot and Kate to take him to see you and for him to visit his grandparent's and aunt. I however am done Christian. I am not going back down that road again. _

Anastasia **Steele**.

* * *

Ana read over her email multiple times before sending it, she placed her phone on the dresser and picked up her infant son who fussed, it was time to feed him. She had already mastered the art of breastfeeding so she got comfortable resting back before cradly her soon to her chest, she watched as she drank hungrily. She watched him lovingly as she stoked his little face. As he finished she burped him and changed his diaper and put him back into his crib where he fell fast asleep as Ana sat in the bed lost in thought. She lay down exhausted from all the crying she had done and he long email to Christian as heartbreaking as it may have been to write and send it he had to know how she really felt. She closed her eyes gently with only one person on her mind that night, the person she thought she knew, her once beloved husband Christian Grey.


	3. Constant Pleas

A/N OMFG I just went to see Magic Mike today and can I say Matt Bomer is just WOW. I thought my eyes were gonna pop outta my head during that move and well I can't explain man is just too good looking to be gay, it's so not fair. His partner is one lucky man...

Sorry enough fangirling so I read through more of the reviews and I am really liking it so far. I really do need to sit around for a couple of hours before I actually write something. Other days I get an idea and I can write it down straight away but not with this. I really thank those who are coping with me and the updates at this moment.

Just a quick note, I use Open Office and the spell check doesn't work. My microsoft word doesn't work either so does anyone know a substitute for these that has a working spell check because it's damn annoying having to go through this several times looking for mistakes.

So with nothing else to say on the matter here is the 3rd Chapter.

Hope you like it

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**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Ana are you sure you don't need anything else? I can call in sick to work and Elliot even offered to to help out too" Ana wasn't used to Kate being this calm and caring. This was Kate 'I'd beat the crap out of you, no bullshit' Kavanagh. She doesn't do well nice, unless her version is rearranging someone's face if they mess with you. "Ana are you okay?"

"Sorry I'm miles away Kate" she laughed it off but Kate wasn't convinced "Kate I will be fine, I am on maternity leave, I can work from home too and look after Teddy, if I need you I will call you" Kate eventually gave in but wore a skeptical look.

"Okay but if you need me please call I will be here before you know it" she said as she picked up her car keys heading for the door "Oh Ana I forgot to tell you Carrick and Grace are dropping over in a while" Ana thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest

"Ana I'm sorry I forgot to tell you but they want to see both you and Teddy" she shrugged her shoulders apologetically. Ana just sat barely listening to Kate, she hadn't seen either Grace or Carrick since the Wedding, what would she say to them? She liked them both but she was terrified they would side with Christian especially Carrick, sure he wanted to do up a prenup for their marriage. "Ana? I think I should stay you don't look so good" Kate moved towards her but she stood up faking a smile "Kate everything is fine I just haven't seen them in so long just a bit of a shock but I'm fine" she hugged Kate and saw her out before coming back in to feed Teddy.

"Where's my baby boy?" she cooed at her four day old son who was very alert for his age he moved his head to the sound of her voice, his eyes wide open. "Hi little guy" she rocked him gently in her arms before settling back into the sofa when her phone bleeped. Her she was just after setting Teddy against her chest when the phone went off, her face went white. She had turned her phone off upon sending that reply to Christian three days beforehand. "Please, please,please" she prayed silently as Teddy drank away hungrily. She waited for him to finish, she didn't want to disturb him when he was relaxed and quite peaceful laying there feeding. She lay him in the moses basket Jose and his father had bought for her and covered him with his new blanket, Christian had it made and it had his full name, weight and date of birth on it with a small yellow duck in the right hand corner. She had to admit she did really did like the gesture, it pained her to think of him now with his recent check ups which considered of emails or a visit from Taylor, though she didn't mind Taylor, she really missed Mrs Jones and her cooking.

Ana stood looking at her blackberry and refused to pick it up several times, she just held it for a moment and placed it back on the kitchen table. Her curiosity was getting the better of her and she had to open up her emails.

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Poor Excuse for A Husband

**Date: **10th July 2012 18:00

**To:**Anastastia Grey ?

_I see you and little Teddy have checked out of the hospital this evening, I was hoping to come and give you both a ride home but it looks like Kate got there first. I have recieved your previous email, Ana baby please don't say this is for good, I need you in my life you make me a better person, you were helping me overcome my fears, it wasn't Dr Flynn or my family, it was you my wife and my only bestfriend. I just want you to keep in mind I won't give up, I refuse to let you go,although it may seem like that months ago, Ana I was scared, more than you will ever know. My own parents are disgusted with me, Carrick was mad when he found out you were gone, at first he thought it was about the money but when I told him it wasn't that it was about the baby he changed his tune. Grace well what can I say about my mother she is horrified with the whole situation. Mia glares at me everyday and you know how she used to throw herself at me when I came to visit she doesn't want to look at me, I am starting to miss is well as you say she's Kate. She didn't for once let me off lightly, I now know what the Katherine Kavanagh Experiance is. I think Elliot is the only one who will speak to me and let me now how my son, 'OUR SON' is doing. I know it's going to be harder for you to trust me but I need you to, I want to work things out between us for the sake of what we used to have and for Teddy. _

_Ana please think about it, I can't let you slip through my fingers for good_

Christian Grey

Idiotic Arse of a Husband & CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc.

* * *

"Why is he making this harder? It's not fair" Ana read the email again when the doorbell chimed. She put her blackberry away and went to answer the door, she looked to the peep hole to find Carrick and Grace waiting on the other side. She took a deep breath to calm herself before opening the door. They stood in silence for a moment, taking in Ana's appearance before Carrick spoke up "Ana is it okay if we see Teddy? Elliot told us about him, would it be okay?" he looked to a stunned Ana who seemed a million miles away before she snapped out of it "Carrick, Grace please come in" she said barely smiling

"Ana it's been so long since we've seen you dear" Grace pulled her into a hug "I am not here to give you excuses for my son's behaviour, I just wish to see my grandson today" she shed a few tears. Carrick came to her side and held her as Ana went to fetch a sleeping Teddy who was wrapped in the blanket Christian had bought for him

"Grace, Carrick I would like you to meet Theodore Raymond Grey, Teddy for short" she smiled as she handed Grace the sleeping infant.

"Oh Carrick he's just like Christian with the exception for his hair, that's Ana's" she smiled at Ana who was sitting across from them on the sofa smiling. Teddy stirred in his sleep making noises as he yawned and stretched slowly opening those grey eyes that would pierce you. "It's like looking at a mini version of Christian" Carrick could not believe the resemblance the infant had to his father at only four days old.

"Ana has Christian seen him?" Grace asked hopefully

"No, not yet" she bowed her head staring at her lapt fidgeting with her hands.

"He is allowed to see him right?" Ana's head shot up and she felt disgusted that they would think so low of her

"Grace, Carrick with all due respect, I have been in contact with Christian these past few days and I told him I will sort out when he can see him, just because he made a wrong decision and I am angry doesn't mean I am going to deny him any rights to see his own child nor will I deny Teddy any right to be with his father no matter how hurtful it is that he is only taking an interest now. Do you really think that low of me? That I would refuse Christian any visitations?" Ana was fuming, it must be the hormones and that email she had recieved just before both Carrick and Grace arrived

"Ana I am sorry if it came out that way but no dear we do not think low of you. Quite the oposite actually, you were and still are the best thing that happened to our son and from what I have heard through Elliot and Kate you already a wonderful mother, we just want Christian to be involved with Teddy, I wont allow him to say he will show up one week and not another, I know he is busy running a business but I will personally make sure he makes time for Teddy. Both of us are sorry for the way it has all turned out, we were hoping you two would have worked things out by now" Carrick said, he had over looked Ana's outburst, he didn't mean to upset her. Grace just sat by Carrick listening but never once taking her eyes from the infant in her arms until she spoke up

"Ana we just don't want to lose contact with us, or see you like this. I know myself that you are hurting, Christian is even hurting but we were hoping you could come and stay with us when Teddy was visiting on weekends or whenever you allow us to see him, we want to see you too Ana, as far as I'm concerned you are still married, even though you are seperated from my son. Your my daughter in law, you're family too"

"Grace I don't think I could stay if I knew Christian where there. I just don't know how I'd handle being around Christian again, I don't think I face him just yet. As for Teddy you are both more than welcome to visit as often as you like even Mia can see him too. Christian just can't be around when you come, he can still see his son but you would have to take him too him or I could arrange for Taylor to come and pick him up" Ana said as she went to hold her son in her arms, she was not in the mood to be talking legal right now she just wanted to shut everything out now.

"Of course Ana, we understand that and we will respect your decisions. We just want to see little Teddy" Grace nodded towards the bundle in Ana's arms. She stroked his tiny face before kissing Ana's cheek and hugging her "Ana please visit us it's been so long and it would make us happy if you did"

"Grace I think it's time for us to go" Carrick addressed his wife with a small smile as he hugged Ana minding the child in her arms and kissing Teddy's forehead "Ana we hope to see you again soon" he said as he waited for Grace who was very reluctant to go "I'll see you soon then dear?" she asked looking hopefully into Ana's eyes

"I'll see you soon" she walked them to the door and felt like her heart were to tear in two. She closed the door and cried again. She didn't mean to raise her voice at them, it's not their fault Christian decided to leave she doesn't want to punish them for his actions especially since they have been so nice to her in the past. "Christian why is it you anger me to the point where I take it out on others?" she sighed as she placed Teddy back into his moses basket. She looked proudly at her sleeping son and remembered the email. She fetched her blackberry again, reading his email for the third time and hit reply not caring how late it was

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Steele (Grey)

**Subject: **Idiotic Arse Of A Husband

**Date: **10th July 2012 20:30

**To:**Christian Grey

_To be quite honest Christian you are idiotic and you are an arse who drives me to the point of insanity. I just spent the past two and a half hours explaining the whole situation with your parents. They have every right to be mad at you. You walked away from your pregnant wife and your unborn child and you know what I am glad you recieved the Katherine Kavanagh Experiance, it was well overdue Mr Grey !_

_Christian I have already told you I can't go back down that road with you, I don't think I can ever fully trust you again. You hurt me too much, I wish you would just understand that I can't go back to you. It would break me if I were to give you another chance, I wouldn't be able to cope if you were to walk away on us again. As for trying to collect me from the hospital you really are pushing it, just respect my wishes Christian, I am not your sub I won't let you order me around. I am the mother of your child and a grown woman so do not try and tell me what way I should raise our child Christian, it's quite hypocritical to give advice on how to raise Teddy when you were the one who wanted nothing to do with him in the first place._

_Christian you let me slip through your fingers when you told me to leave. _

Anastasia Steele (Grey)

* * *

Ana fought back the tears as she hit send. Christian was making it harder for her over the past few days especially with Teddy's arrival. She sat in the quiet apartment listening to the still breathing of her son just hoping when the time came to face Christian she would be able to hold her own.


	4. It's What You Do To Me

**A/N Just read this before going on with the chapter.**

**1.I am the author of this story, that means I put what I want into it.**

**2.I am using the character/characters and making what I want of them, there is a reason why it is called FANFICTION. It doesn't have to go the same way the books did.**

**3.I appreciate pointers here and there to help me along the way so if you have an idea for the story leave a comment.**

**authors note is for the people who bash each chapter, look I don't care if you think I am off topic with the whole thing, I am not changing it for 1 person. If you don't like it then stop reading. THAT'S WHAT I DO, I don't bash the author with comments telling them you think it's a load of crap.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Let's get you ready" Ana scooped her one week old son up in her arms as she placed him carefully on his changing table. She had his outfit laid out neatly on the bed "Today you go see daddy. Mommy isn't going to stick around today but knowing Kate and Elliot they will beg me. I just wish this was all so easy. Teddy I wish you could understand that I am doing this because I feel it's the right decision, I hope you don't resent me later for it" she changed his diaper talking away as he moved his head to the sound of her voice. He yawned and she couldn't help but stop to watch him smiling. She dressed him in a check shirt, t-shirt and jeans to match. "There we go all done. Now you be a good boy and have a nap while mommy gets your things ready for today" she went back to the living room placing him in the moses basket and fetched the new diaper bag. She packed it with a few diapers, extra clothing, his baby blanket and several bottles of breast milk, she decided to introduce him to bottles to help him get used to it when he would be staying with Christian. She had just zipped up the bag and held Teddy's jacket in her hand when she heard the ping for the email on her blackberry "Christian" she groaned and rolled her eyes as she picked it up

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Let Me Do This

**Date: **13th July 2012 13:00

**To:**Anastasia Grey

_As much as you don't want to see me today, let Taylor pick both of you up, it will ease my mind._

Christian Grey

Anxious CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc.

* * *

"Christian what are you playing at?" she eyed the email when a knock at the door startled her. She held her blackberry close to hand and she smiled when she seen Taylor holding a blue bag with a bear on it "Peace offering Mrs Grey?" his eyes twinkled with amusement. She stepped aside to let him in "Taylor" she groaned when he used her marriage name

"Sorry Mrs Gr- I mean Ana. I know you might be sick of me but Mrs Jones and I picked these out for you. She can't wait to see the little fella. Also Mr Grey is very persistent about your safety and the little fella's safety too, so I will be your driver for today" he grinned at Ana. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She was about to retort when a little cry startled her, Taylor looked over her shoulder to see Teddy fussing in the moses basket, Ana caught him looking and smiled "Well Taylor how long has it been since you held an infant ?"

"Too long, do you mind?" he asked, Ana shook her head as he went to pick the baby up. He seemed happy, light hearted and not the usual Taylor. Ana was confused. _Maybe Christian lightened up with his staff, well maybe just with Taylor and Mrs Jones, I wouldn't go that far_ she thought to herself when Teddy began to calm down as Taylor rocked him "Ana I don't want to be out of line in saying this but he really is Mr Grey's double"

"Taylor it's fine, he is his double everyone can see it and Mr Grey isn't around to scold you for it either" she playfully retorted. "Taylor could you hold him while I grab the diaper bag and a jacket for him ?"

"That's no problem" he said as Teddy fell back asleep in his arms. Ana rushed around the apartment locking the place up, she went to grab the car seat when Taylor stopped her "Already got one fitted securely in the car" he handed Teddy to her and she slipped his jacket on while Taylor took the bags to the car. She remembered her blackberry on the counter and grabbed that slipping it into her handbag as she left the apartment and locking the door behind her.

Taylor was waiting for her by the car door open on the side that she could easily get Teddy strapped in safely. "There we go" pulled the baby blanket out of the diaper bag and covered him up before getting in the other side of the car. She settled in and Taylor explained he was given orders to play something soothing for Teddy. Ana rolled her eyes but said nothing she sat back and pulled out her blackberry

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Steele

**Subject: ** Re: Let Me Do This

**Date: **13th July 2012 13:40

**To:**Christian Grey

_Christian that was quite a stunt you pulled, I am capable of driving myself and our son to your parent's house without an escort even though I don't mind Taylor. I am a grown woman Christian. I really hope you don't try something funny today._

Anastasia Steele

* * *

"Taylor has Christian given you orders to drive to a certain destination?" she looked at him and glanced at the rearview mirror to meet his eyes. He flashed a slight look of guilt before responding "Ana I hav-"

"Taylor I want you to take me to Christian's parents' house immediately. You are under no circumstances to take me to see him. He can drive himself or fly if he feels like it but I do not want to go back there. Do you understand?" Ana was fuming. She had only sent him an email telling him not to pull anything and he tries to get her to come back to their home. "Taylor?" she raised her voice and he sighed "Mr Grey will not be pleased" he typed in The Grey's address and changed his route. Ana lost it big time "Oh Christian you wont be able to pull the wool of my eyes" she said to herself when her phone rang. She never checked the caller I.D and just answered it

"Kate I might be a bit late, Christian decided to pull a fast one" she only got out when she heard that all too familiar voice "Ana"

"Christian" she choked out after a minute "I don't have time for th-"

"Ana please don't hang up on me" he pleaded and she sighed heavily into the phone "Christian what do you want?"

"Ana I'm sorry"

"That's enou-"

"No Ana baby please listen to me, I feel like crap without you. I need you in my life, you were and still are the only good thing that ever came into my life and now we have Teddy so I guess that's two good things. Please come home to me Ana, I lov-

"Christian don't do this again" she was going to lose it, she could feel every inch of her wanting to follow that voice to what she used to call home. _Don't give into him, don't give into him. _She could feel her eyes filling up at the sound of his voice "Christian just don't, look I have to go"

"Ana please" he begged over the phone

"Will you just stop with the Ana please and no Ana I'm sorry because I am sick of it" That's it the tears were now freely flowing against her will "Christian you were tricking me today to get me to see you, do you know how that feels? You betrayed my trust in you. Look I have to go. Goodbye Christian" She sniffled and searched her bag for a tissue when Taylor pulled over and handed her one. He looked terrible now

"Ana I am sorry but I was just following orders" he felt terrible but if he didn't do what he was asked of Christian would go through him for a shortcut. She liked Taylor, she always got along with him even though at first she felt a bit uncomfortable around him but over time she got used to him. She couldn't blame him either.

"It's your job Taylor" she smiled up at him as he turned around and restarted the car. Ana was horrified but yet not surprised Christian would try and do something like this. Her mind was racing, and as her mother and Christian himself often told her 'don't over think things' but how could she not in the situation she was in. It was killing her deep down she closed her eyes taking in a deep breath to calm herself.

* * *

"Ana we're here" Taylor said as he went around to open the door but she beat him too it. He backed off not questioning her as she went to the other side to unstrap Teddy and carry him towards a bouncing Mia who was practically running towards her. "Ana" she missed Mia, she loved how happy and such a bubbly person she could be.

"Mia" she half hugged her as to not squash Teddy in between them. "How are you? Any new boyfriends?" Ana raised her eyes smirking at the slight blush that rose to Mia's cheeks "Well?"

"No none at all" she lied through her teeth and Ana let it be, she loved when she could be happy and carefree with her. Mia took the diaper bag from Taylor and handing him a note before coming to join Ana as they walked up the drive to the house. Carrick and Grace were in the living room along with Elliot and Kate.

"Ah there's my nephew" Elliot moved over to take Teddy as Kate pulled her into a hug. She had over heard what had happened with her and Christian because he had phoned Elliot.

"Elliot I haven't gotten to hold him yet, you have. Now hand my nephew over now" Mia stomped her foot like she was 4 years old. Elliot rolled his eyes and just laughed ignoring her and sitting down next to his mother "Ana?" Mia looked to her for help but she just shrugged her shoulders laughing at the pair of them who fought over the baby.

"Ana dear would you like a drink? Tea, water or wine?" Grace offered

"A glass of wine would be nice, I haven't had any in months" she joked and Kate smiled

* * *

Carrick was off busying himself with Grace and Kate took a chance to pull Ana aside while leaving Elliot and Mia quarrelling over Teddy. "Ana I heard about what Christian did. Are you okay?" she held Ana's hand

"Kate I'd be lying if I told you I was" she looked up to Kate who now pulled her into a hug "He just .. I can't.. Why?" she could barely string a sentence together now.

"Ana you mark my words if he even tries anything today he will get more than The Katherine Kavanagh Experience'. That fucker will get it fully loaded" Ana couldn't help but giggle at Kate's words.

"Do I have to face him?" she couldn't help but feel small at the thought of facing him, he still intimidated her even when he wasn't around. At least she could say what she felt in emails but face to face? She was thinking of just taking Teddy and leaving.

"This is Christian we are talking about he can pull better things off than the navy seals Ana. You don't have to but what can you do? Hide in a room until he leaves? You are stronger than that Ana, I know you are" Kate reassured her. Ana nodded her head as Grace interrupted them "Ana dear here you go" she smiled at her "Is everything alright?" she looked between Ana and Kate

"She's fine Grace we were just catching up on some girl talk" Kate lied through her teeth, she was good at it too because Grace bought it. They joined the others back in the room to see a beaming Mia proudly holding her nephew. Elliot stood up letting Ana sit and he joined Kate pulling her gently to his side. The atmosphere was good she found herself laughing and enjoying herself for the first time in months. Teddy was fast asleep, he was fed and his diaper was changed so she could kick back and relax for a while. She was just about to take another sip of wine when something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She looked over to the archway and she could barely get a word out other than one

"Christian"

* * *

**Not going to lie, I caved in this chapter. She had to face him sooner or later. Plus it's Christian Grey, stalker extraordinaire he was bound to show up face to face with her when she dropped Teddy over. Don't worry I am not going to just go and let them make up and play happy families next chapter. So calm yourself and don't get your panties in a twist people.**


	5. I Just Want You To Come Home

A/N I am so sorry for leaving you with that mini cliff hanger. That wasn't my intention, my wi-fi wasn't working so I couldn't upload this chapter like the previous one. Oh and thank you for the reviews you guys are understanding.

One review in particular had me laughing my head off. Here is a part of the comment

**dm1990**:This is your story you can do whatever you want with it. If they dont like well they can go **fuck a duck,** simple as that. - interesting choice of words ;)

I was reading this while I sat with my mother in the kitchen she was busy making dinner and I was typing away on my laptop and I burst into a fit of laughter. She thought I was going mental or something.

BIG THANK YOU to the people who have kept with me it chapter.

Oh and another quick note, the outfit Teddy is wearing you can find on my profile, the link to it is available from there. I will probably put up more for later chapters for the characters.

So I guess I better get on with it so. _ENJOY Oh and I suggest listening to two songs after you read this chapter._

_**The Ana/Christian Playlist as I like to call it**_.

**Ross Copperman - Holding On And Letting Go**

**Lawson – When She Was Mine.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Ana" she couldn't speak, the way he breathed her name and they way he looked after all this time still made her weak at the knees. The tension was obvious in the room so after a few quick 'hellos' Christian and Ana were left to talk, well before Kate managed to slip back in and threaten Christian "Grey, I'm warning you she crys or gets upset and you will get a fully loaded version of the other day. I mean it. Your cards are marked!" before she stomped out of the room leaving Ana to her defences. She looked everywhere around the room but at him, _try keep it together Ana you were doing so well, don't give in yet _

She eventually focused her gaze to her sleeping infant just a mere four feet away. Christian was watching her closely and followed the gaze to the infant carrier in the middle of the room. "That's my son" it was more of a statement than a question to which she nodded. She couldn't speak at all _Nice one Ana, lash out at him in an email and become a mute face to face. Thumbs up girl _Ana was having an inner battle with herself, she snapped out of it when Christian reached out to gently stroke her face "Ana" he smiled at her, that smile that will be the death of her.

"Christian don't" she whispered and stepped away his face falling from disappointment but he stood back, his hands in his suit pants pockets before moving to the carrier. The silence in the room was deadly, you could have heard a pin drop. He leaned over his son taking in his features, he agreed that he was his double but he was hoping he would be awake. Elliot had told him about his eyes, the very same as his own. He removed one hand from his pocket having an inner struggle to reach out and touch the baby in fear he would wake and cry. He was gently he barely glided his finger across his son's face smiling at how small he really was. "Christian do you want to hold him?" His head snapped up as Ana spoke

"He wont cry if I do?" Ana watched how nervous Christian was at the thought of holding his own son. She wanted this, to see him and their son together. She dreamed of it for a whole nine months.

"He wont, anyway he's due a feed soon" She went to his side barely keeping it together, he was intoxicating. She scooped her son up in her arms and he stirred slightly but fell back asleep. Christian back away a few feet almost frightened at the thought of holding someone so small and so fragile. "Christian?" she was confused

"I don't want to hurt him" his eyes wide as if he was a deer in headlights. "He's so small" he said as he sat down running his hands through his hair.

"Christian you wont hurt him. I know he's small but he grows like everyone else" she smiled slightly "He wont stay this size forever" she moved towards him. The fear was evident on his face "Christian I need you to hold him so I can fix him a bottle, I can't do both" Christian eventually gave in as Ana showed him how to hold him in his arms, he was sitting back on the sofa holding Teddy carefully. Ana was searching the diaper bag for a bottle and a bib for Teddy, she took a few deep breaths to calm down, luckily Christian was occupied focusing on every movement Teddy gave to notice how nervous Ana was in his presence.

"He has got my eyes" Christian blurted out as Ana moved to his side "Elliot told me but I didn't think he was telling the truth" he moved over to allow Ana to sit beside him. She placed the bottle near Teddy's mouth and he bag hungrily sucking away, she brushed Christian's hand as she placed the bottle into his and it was like a bolt of electricity passed through the two of them, their eyes met for a moment when Ana stood up and moved across the room to sit down away from him. She couldn't help but watch as Christian whispered to their son, she could barely hear what he wa saying but Teddy kept his focus on his father like he would do with her, holding on to every word he spoke. "He's finished his bottle" Ana jumped but moved back to Christian's side to show him how to burp Teddy. He wouldn't tap his back like Ana had showed him, he was terrified of hurting him so Ana took over. "You're really great with him" Christian said as Ana proceeded to change his diaper "Ana will you please come home to me?" he begged like a small child. Luckily her back was to him, she closed her eyes and sighed "Christian we have had this conversation multiple times, please don't do this again" she placed a sleeping Teddy back into the carrier. She turned back to Christian who was now on his feet moving towards her.

"Ana I really want you to come home" he took her hands and of course she let him, she missed his touch even if it was just him holding her hands. "The nightmares, they got worse since you left. You're not there sleeping next to me every night so they wont go away" Christian met her eyes and she was on the verge of allowing her self to dive into his arms but she didn't she stood there. "Please come home Ana, you and Teddy"

"Christian please I ca-" she was cut off as he began to cry _Nice one Ana first time you see him in months and he is the one crying when your face to face. He's broken enough as it is._

"Ana please, I need you, I want you to come home. I'm sorry I couldn't see how scared you were, I was only thinking of myself, I was selfish. You have to try understand I was afraid of how I'd be as a fathe-"

"Christian you will be a great father but please I am begging you don't do this, I have been non stop crying all week since you decided to want to be apart of this, half of me is jumping for joy and the other half still can't yet forgive you. I really can't do this now" her tears were flowing non stop and Christian took the opportunity to pull her into his arms, she couldn't hold back now she sobbed harder than ever into his chest as he rubbed her back affectionately. She slipped her arms around his waist with ease as he held her there as she cried. "Oh Ana I really am sorry" she looked up at his tear streaked face, it was the same as her own. "I missed you in my arms, holding you" he confessed as she just listened. She just wanted to be held by him. She blocked out everything else but the feel of him holding her safely in his arms.

* * *

"Christian" she looked up at him. She was over thinking her situation and her thoughts hit her hard "No I can't do this" she shrugged him off and moved out of his arms. He was crying again and she couldn't handle it. Kate and Elliot were making their way back to the living room when they seen Christian break down in tears. Ana picked up Teddy and grabbed his diaper bag and walked as calmly as she could to Kate still sniffling from moments before. "Kate I can't I need to go" Kate immediately grabbed her car keys as Carrick, Mia and Grace came back to find their son and daughter in law in a state. Elliot wasn't sticking up for Christian but he moved to his side putting an arm around him for comfort when he buried his head in his older brothers chest sobbing uncontrollably "I just want her to come home" Ana heard him. Elliot had never seen his brother so upset ever since he was little and even then Elliot had been sent out of the room if he was. His parents usually took control of the situation.

Grace was in shock she hadn't seen Christian so upset in years, she looked over to Ana who mouthed 'I'm sorry' as Kate took her home. She placed Teddy in the backseat in his carrier securing it in place before jumping upfront with her best friend. "Oh Ana what happened?" she watched as Ana wiped the fresh tears from her eyes as they began to fall

* * *

"Kate I can't.. he just.. he said...Christian" she burst into tears. Kate reached out to hold her hand as she drove her home. She was in such a state Kate was fuming but she couldn't help but feel sorry for Christian, she heard what he said about her wanting to come home. Elliot was back at his parents home trying to calm him down but Kate was worried about both of them. She never knew Ana could be so stubborn but she had reason to be. She looked over to her friend who had cried her eyes out and was now sleeping. She looked exhausted and Kate couldn't begin to imagine what she was feeling right now especially with a baby involved.

"Ana, hey were here" she gently shook her best friend who was in a daze after just waking up. "I'm going to call Elliot as soon as we get inside okay?" Ana just nodded as she took Teddy inside as Kate took the diaper bag and carrier for her. She placed Teddy in his crib in her room as she came back out to find Kate making her a cup of tea.

"Here" she smiled handing her a cup of hot tea as they both sank into the sofa "Ana I have to call Elliot" she spoke to Ana as she sipped her tea

"Could you stay a while, I need to sleep and I need someone to watch Teddy" she confessed

"I'm not going anywhere Ana, I'm calling Elliot to let him know I will be home late that's all" she hugged her friend as she left to go make a call, she waited until the bedroom door was closed before slipping outside into the hall of the apartment as she dialled Elliot's number, he picked up on the first ring "Kate, how is everything on your end? Christian wont stop crying I haven't seen him like this since he was about 4 years old Kate. What's going on with them? Ana was crying too I saw that"

"Elliot she's in a bad state, she cried the whole way home. As for Christian I don't know what to say, I would usually get pissed at him for making her cry but I can't. I think we need to stay out of this Elliot, they might be able to work it out alone or maybe if we just point them in the right direction"

"Do you think Ana would ever go back to him?"

"Honestly Elliot, I have never seen her this hooked on a guy especially when it's her husband, she wants him back and I know she does but shes being stubborn and of course little Teddy is involved now so it's going to be harder for her not to stay away. I wish they would just make up and get back together. I know Christian is serious about her now and after what I seen today I think I need to have a talk with him about Ana, I know her better than anyone"

"I hope your right Kate" he sighed into the phone "I really hope your right. So when are you coming home?"

"Later tonight, Ana just had a cup of tea and went to bed. She needs the sleep she's exhausted Elliot. I'll call you later when I am on my way"

"Okay I'll see you later, I love you"

"I love you too" she said as she hung up the phone and re entered the apartment.

* * *

She could hear the sniffles Ana made every so often, she would have went in but she thought it was probably best to leave her be for a while. Ana was glad she did, she lay in the bed clutching one of Christian's old t-shirts she found when she was going through her wardrobe the other day, it still had his scent on it. She breathed it in as she held it close. She looked to her beside dresser as a picture of them both at her graduation and then her wedding was visible to the eye. She picked up the wedding photo, she stared at it for at least 15 minutes before she lay back on the bed with both the photo and the t-shirt in hand, holding onto them for dear life as she closed her eyes.


	6. One Step Forward

A/N Been a little generous today a new update for you guys.

Such an emotional chapter I will admit I am hoping to change Ana's stubborn ways soon, I promise I wont drag it out as long.

All I can say is enjoy ;)

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

It had been five weeks, five long terrible weeks since that afternoon with Christian. She felt horrible about what had happened and had over heard later that Christian had not been himself since, he had been moping around like a teenager. She called Elliot asking how he was doing but she knew he would lie to make it sound that he wasn't as bad as he was, he even managed to talk her into seeing him again, she agreed, it was the least she could do.

"Ana you know I'm not choosing sides in this but Christian has barely said two words to anyone since that day you took Teddy and left" Elliot explained as he drove he to see Christian, she felt bad all over again, worse if even. "You know he has been hoping everyday you would come through that door" he smiled slightly at Ana who glanced back to check Teddy, she couldn't believe how big he was getting. Christian had seen him a few times since then but he wanted to see Ana too.

"Elliot I was angry at him but I never meant to hurt him, I know he's sorry I just was too stubborn to see it and now he probably wont want to talk to me" she sighed rubbing her hand against her head "I don't suppose Carrick or Grace was a bit impressed either?"

"Ana they understand your reasons but they were hoping you would take him back, she wants to have a dinner for the family both sides for his birthday in next week. You should come" he smiled at her. "I can even do a make up card and paint Teddy's hands and do printing for him and put it in a frame, we can say it's from him?" Elliot explained the twinkle evident in his eyes

"That sounds great Elliot, I'm sure Christian would love it. Just make sure you stick a helicopter on it and some clouds. Christian loves his Charlie Tango" Elliot grinned at her "He sure has a thing for helicopters doesn't he?" he joked to which she beamed at him nodding "He does, he tried explaining all of the things about flying and about Charlie Tango, I listened but I hadn't a clue what he was saying. He might as well of been speaking another language" Elliot burst into laughter at that and Ana found herself in better spirits. Elliot just had the aura around him, he could make the most saddest person smile without even trying, he just had it in him.

"Mrs Jones is delighted you're coming" Elliot told her after he calmed down from the laughter "Don't tell her I told you but she's making cake for when you get there. I got a taster yesterday and It's delicious, that woman sure can cook" I laughed at him "Elliot they are meant to be surprises for a reason, so you can actually be surprised" he grinned like a child

"Ana just don't tell her though" she couldn't help but laughed as his expression changed

"What if I do?" she laughed at him

"You will regret it missy" he joked with her

"Oh yeah? What you gonna do? Not offer me any more lifts?" the playfulness was just what she needed and Elliot was the person for it

"Don't tempt me" he grinned

"Yeah, yeah. Keep talking" their eyes met for a moment and they burst into a fit of giggles "God I haven't had this much fun in ages" she wiped the happy tears from her eyes.

"It's nice to see you smile again, ah look we're here" The house had been the same since she left all those months ago, nothing has changed. "It's still the same, oh the play area is new though" she looked over to the mini playground that was built in the meadow. Elliot smiled "That was my idea, I know Teddy is only 6 weeks old but he will be up walking before we know it" he shrugged

"Thanks Elliot, it's so cute. Is that a baby swing?" her eyes lit up

"Of course it is, only the best for my nephew"

"Elliot you really are something" she hugged him before getting out of the car. Kate had seen them coming up the drive so she met them at the front door. Elliot had Teddy and the bag while Kate and Ana dove into each other's arms "I haven't seen you in ages" she joked with Ana

* * *

"I know even though you had dinner at my place last night" they giggled and remembered Elliot with the baby. "Elliot hand over my nephew please" Kate took Teddy into her arms, he was wide awake now taking in his surroundings. "What's all this little guy ?" Kate was cuddling him while Elliot struggled with the bags "Geez Ana what the hell did you put in this bag for the kid?"

"Oh Elliot stop complaining and just bring the bags in" Kate rolled her eyes, Elliot huffed and Ana giggled. It was at that moment Mrs Jones stepped out of the kitchen and Ana raced over to her "Oh my god Gail it's so nice to see you, you look fantastic" she hugged the woman lovingly, she had changed her hair, it was shorter and had highlights in it. "Ana look at you, you look great especially six weeks after having a baby, speaking of where is the little fella, I am so jealous Taylor got to see him first"

"Gail you get what 2 days a week off, why didn't you visit me? You are always welcome to." Kate had taken Teddy over to Gail who was cooing over him "Oh look at him, he's precious. Ana dear you know it's not my place to ask Mr Grey to visit you. I'd need someone to take me to you"

"I know what you mean but don't be a stranger I miss having your company when I am at home" she smiled "Is Christian home?" she asked Gail after a few moments, he eyes saddened "He is Ana, he should be in his room or his study with Taylor but I would try the bedroom his has been spending quite an awful lot of time there" she focused on the baby in her arms

"I see" her eyebrows burrowed "Gail do you mind watching him while I go check on Christian ?"Gail's eyes lit up "Go on I have been waiting weeks to see this little guy" she kissed Teddy's forehead.

"Thanks" she kissed her son's head and made her way up to the bedroom.

* * *

She walked along the main hall and into the last room, his room, the room she once calls 'ours'. She knocked lightly and she heard a muffled voice "Come in" she opened the door slowly to find Christian in a pair of sweats and a white tank top. He hadn't shaven in a few days and his eyes were all puffy and red, he had been crying again, there was fresh tears on his cheeks. He didn't notice Ana, he had his eyes closed to hide the new tears that were forming. She moved across the floor after closing the door lightly, she stood just only one foot away before placing her hand on his arm calling him "Christian"

"Ana" he managed to croak, his voice was hoarse as he snapped his eyes open to see her there standing over him. "You came?" he was almost child like in his ways

"I did, I came to see you Christian" she said softly. _Look what your stubbornness has caused, he was sorry and your paying for it now. Look at the state he's in_

"Teddy here too?" Ana nodded smiling slightly at him

"Yes Mrs Jones has him downstairs, she was dying to see him" Christian smiled a bit

"Sit down Ana" she sat at the bedside as he moved in making more than enough room for her to just sit, he wanted her to lie with him "Will you lie with me?" he reminded her of a venerable child and she gave in, she lay on her side facing him as he did the same. She reached out to touch his stubble "You need to shave" she joked and looking at his hair "You need a hair cut too" he smiled at her

"Will you do it for me? Like the last time liked you shaved my face and washed my hair and cut it?" he really was not the same man she knew almost a year ago, the same man she married, the same man who wouldn't seem so vulnerable, he was broken.

"Okay, come on" she stood up taking his hand leading him to the bathroom. She left for a moment bringing back a chair for him to sit on. She decided to shave him first, so she took a bowl and filled it with shaving creaming mixing it with the brush to turn it to a creamy lather. She took the brush and applied the lather to his face. He watched her every movement relishing what ever touch he could get from her. She took a razor and filled the sink with warm water dipping it in it. She then began with the first stroke. She was nervous but she had done it before, once the first stroke was over she then felt at ease and before she knew it he was freshly shaved. She took a hand towel and gently wiped his face of any bit of cream left there.

He sat watching her with his big eyes as she emptied the sink and began to refill it. She took the bottle of Christian's expensive shampoo from the shower and placed it on the sink. He moved his chair so he could lie back against the sink. She emptied the cup and began to fill it with water and poured it gently over his head. She repeated it a few times before pouring some shampoo in her hands and rubbing it into his heading forming a soapy lather. She massaged his head and he was at ease, he felt more relaxed than he had all year., she could see his whole facial features change and he reminded her of her Christian. After a couple of moments she began ti rinse his hair, as she poured the cup of water with one hand she ran her fingers through his hair with the other.

"There done" she took a towel and began to dry his hair slightly. She needed it to be damp so she could cut it. She takes a comb and scissors as she takes a lock of hair between his fingers and begins to snip it. She didn't cut it too short just the way it was for their wedding, the way he wore it most of the time. She combed the rest back and he opened his eyes "That's better" she smiled at him and kissed his forehead, his breath hitched before he spoke

"Thank you Ana" he said as she got him to look at himself in the mirror but he was more content with watching her clean up. "Ana" he held her hand and she stopped as she was doing "Can we try again? I need to know that their is hope of us again"

Ana sighed "Christian it's too soon but your the father of my child and before that you were my husband, I can't throw away what we had completely but it's going to take time to build back what we once had. It can't just go back to you bossing me around again, I quite enjoy the freedom I have now" his face broke out into a genuine smile as he moved forward to hug her. She let him she breathed in his scent. "I'll wait forever on you Ana"

"I know"she replied when she gently caressed his face between her hands "You know I still care about you, I never stopped loving you Christian" he nodded smiling as she left him in the bathroom going to his closet. She pulled out his dark washed jeans, black shirt and shoes "here" he looked at his confused "Christian you look as if you have been wearing those all day now get changed and come down to your son" she left him to go get ready with a proud smile on her face.

* * *

She made her way to the kitchen to find Elliot and Kate tucking into a meal and Mrs Jones sitting feeding Teddy. "Oh Ana dear I will heat up something for you and Mr Grey in a moment"

"No stay Gail your fine I'll heat it up. Christian should be down in a moment he has just gone to take a shower" she smiled at Gail who could see right through her. Gail knew by the smile on her face that it was a step forward for them

"Ana so is my little bro okay?"

"He seems a bit better now" she sat at the counter as Kate smiled "He hasn't shaved in days"

"I know I haven't seen him with a stubble like that" Ana smiled to herself _Well wait until you see him now _she was brought out of her thoughts when a clean shaven and showered Christian stepped into the kitchen wearing the outfit Ana had picked out. Kate's jaw dropped and Elliot smirked "Well,well,well look who looks a million bucks" Christian grinned at his brother who returned the same smile.

"Mr Grey I will fix you something to eat now I am just finishing feeding your little one" he moved over to Mrs Jones and stroked his son's face "Actually can I finish feeding him?"

"Here you are then Mr Grey" she placed Teddy in his arms and like Ana showed him weeks before he began to feed Teddy. He sat at the counter and held his son so tenderly and when he was finished he began to burp him. Ana took notice that he must of gotten used to it by now, she smiled at him. Elliot and Kate watched Ana and then Christian before Kate mouthed to him "Come on, leave them be".

"Ana were heading off for the evening, Elliot here is taking me to a movie" Christian chuckled and Ana grinned

"Sure I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course you will" she hugged Ana, thanked Mrs Jones and just as her and Elliot were out the door she shouted back "Bye Christian" He simply smirked and raised his hand to wave her off. Mrs Jones had re heated their meals and left them to it. Christian still held Teddy on his lap but managed to eat his dinner. Ana realised how hungry she was and she devoured her food. _God I miss this cooking_ she thought. Christian smiled as she was first to clear her plate.

As he finished they left to sit in the living room. Christian became quite attached to his son and Elliot had told her he just carries him close to him when they are together. She smiled at his affection for Teddy. "No wonder he cries when I put him down now"

"What?" Christian looked confused

"Teddy is too used to being held like that when he's here, he fusses for a while before he settles most of the time now" she smiled

"Is he?" Christian eyes focused on his son and the met Ana's

"Must be the father's touch, not the mother's one" she grinned at him as she sat opposite him on the sofa. "He gets more like you everyday" Ana commented

"A mini me" Christian chuckled _Oh how I love playful Christian_

Ana then glanced to the clock. It was hitting seven o'clock, she usually had Teddy bathed and in bed by now "Christian I have to get him home, he's usually in bed by now" she said and his face fell

"You can stay here and give him a bath, there is a nursery upstairs for him Ana" she thought about it but decided against it

"I need to get him home, you can come over later tomorrow to see him if you like?"

"I was hoping you would stay"

"Christian" she sighed "You know why" she moved over and caressed his face, he leaned into the palm of her hand.

"I miss you" he whispered "I'm really sorry Ana" he looked up

"No I am sorry, I was too stubborn to see it, I was angry you left me, left us. When Elliot told me about what way you were in after the night I took Teddy and went home. I just couldn't believe I caused that, Christian it pained me to know I had done that, It pained me to see you like that today"

"Ana don't blame yourself"

"It is my fault if I had of just.. I don't know, you wouldn't have been like this these past few weeks" she met his eyes

"I don't blame you and I never have" he said looking her in the eyes

"Christian why are you so forgiving?" she buried her head in her hands, it was silent for a moment. She could hear the little coos coming from Teddy when Christian spoke

"Because even when I told you to leave, I thought about you every single day, I thought I made the right decision by asking you to go but really Ana I was wrong, it hurt me that you weren't there. I was hurt when you sent those emails, as you were, I never once blamed you for the hurt I felt, that was caused by my stupidity to get rid of the good things in my life, Ana I never stopped loving you"


	7. Two Steps Back

A/N I just thought I would give you guys a short update because the last chapter made it look like she was going to accept the offer.

Don't hate me :(

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

Ana looked up as Christian swooped in a planted a kiss on her lips. She gasped and pulled back "Christian. What are you doing?" she stood up moving away, he frowned not realizing why she was upset

"Ana why? What's wrong?"

"Christian, I said I would give hope for our future only an hour ago and now your kissing me? No you can't do that, I am not ready to go back to you fully. I want you around Teddy and I do miss you but it's too soon Christian, don't you understand?" Christian frowned as he looked to the sleeping infant in his arms. He didn't answer her this time.

"Look I have to go" she began collecting Teddy's diaper bag filling it and as she went to take Teddy from Christian he was reluctant to let him go arguing "Why does he have to go too ? There is a nursery upstairs. There is have plenty of room for the both of you"

"Christian I thought we were passed that? Look I need to go home and he has to be put to bed it's late, we both had a long day, can you please just respect my wishes instead of trying to start an argument?" she sighed _Christian why did you have to ruin the calm _she said as she waited for a reply but it was silent"Christian I told you, drop by tomorrow after work and you can see him then but I really should be going" she tried reasoning with him

"Then let Taylor take you home" he have in he wasn't getting anywhere with her especially with her newly found spirit. Christian called Taylor who had a car seat fitted into the back of the car he usually drove Christian in. He came and helped Ana out to the car as Christian kissed his son on the head and waved Ana off. She sat in the car as Taylor drove her home, he respected her silence he didn't bother asking questions tonight. She glanced from time to time to her sleeping son in the car seat next to her and then back out her side of the car watching the other cars as they drove by. She listened to the faint music playing as she sat back thinking. _We were just nearly at the forgiving stage to becoming friends again and he goes ahead and kisses me. As much as I love Teddy I really wish he wasn't caught in the middle of this_

* * *

"Ana" Taylor brought her from deep thought as she looked at him "Mr Grey wants me to help you up to your apartment tonight, I have a box of things for you" Ana nodded but was confused as to what Taylor had in the box. She scooped Teddy up and slung the diaper bag over her shoulder as she walked ahead of Taylor to open the door. He followed her in and placed the box on the kitchen table. He waited until she settled Teddy into bed before bidding her goodnight "Ana make sure you lock up, goodnight" he nodded as she waved at him. She locked the door after a few moments then her curiosity got the better of her she went to the table and pulled the box towards her. After taking the lid of she was met with a note

_Ana, _

_these are of no use to me as I have my own_

_just don't send them back, they are yours._

_Christian x_

She looked back into the box to find her apple laptop, iPad, car keys. On the car keys was a key chain of a picture of Christian and Teddy. _He must of gotten some photo's done_ she smiled at how Teddy looked up at his father in this particular picture. She held it for a few moments before taking her things and putting them in her bedroom. She powered up the laptop to find it had the latest software on it so it could be used. Her desktop screen saver Christian changed to one of a sleeping Teddy and Christian lying on the sofa next to the fire. She powered up her email and began typing

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Laptop, iPad & Car Keys

**Date: **1st August 2012 21:00

**To:**Christian Grey

_Thank you for giving my things back, I didn't think you kept them that time I gave them back to you, I hardly recognised the box Taylor left here for me. I also noticed my key chain and screen saver is of pictures of you and Teddy together and I must say they are cute, especially the one of the two of you asleep on the sofa. _

_About my car did Taylor drop if off earlier when I was at your place ?_

Anastasia Grey

She decided to play some music while she waited for a reply, she browsed the internet looking up baby clothes and other essentials for Teddy even though Christian kept her well stocked with things for both of them. She checked her emails not surprised to find an instant reply

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Re:Laptop, iPad & Car Keys

**Date: **1st August 2012 21:15

**To:**Anastasia Grey

_I didn't need to throw them out, they belonged to you and it's your decision what you do with them. My mother took that photo with her camera, I hope you don't mind the key chain. Mia wanted one done and she got a few different ones done for a bargain as she likes to call batting your eyelids so she didn't have to pay._

_About your car, yes Taylor did take it to your apartment earlier. I made sure it is up to date with tax and insurance, it has been serviced so it's safe for the road._

_Why did you fight me earlier when I wanted you to stay?_

Christian Grey, CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc

She read that last part sighing to herself _It's too soon _she told herself. She was hesitant to reply, she knew he would keep annoying her with emails if she started a row with him

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Too Soon

**Date: **1st August 2012 21:25

**To:**Christian Grey

_I think the subject of this email will tell you why. We were in talks of repairing our relationship Christian, I can't just run back into your arms. I need time to think this through, what happened to walk before we run. I remember you told me that. _

_It's been a long day. I'm exhausted and Teddy wakes very early - Goodnight Christian_

Anastasia Grey

* * *

She didn't bother waiting on a reply she just shut her laptop down and went to leave it on the kitchen table. As she locked her apartment up for the night, she went to check on Teddy. He was fast asleep wearing his new Moshi Monsters all in ones Mia had bought him. She kissed his little cheek before closing the door to his nursery and heading to bed.


	8. Relaxation Long Overdue

A/N **Sorry that this chapter has been a bit of a wait. I have been a bit sick and still not feeling the best at the moment. I have been busy helping with kids too at home and I needed time to think where this chapter was going to take the story, I didn't want to just post something and regret it later, I am trying to keep some of the things to the books and change some things for my own additions.**

**I am pleased that I have 145 reviews and this story has reached nearly 14,000 views and we are just on chapter 8. It's amazing. I really want to thank each and every one of you who has read it and reviewed, a special thanks to the 171 followers who has stayed with me the whole time also :)**

**You are all fantastic.**

**I really do hope you are enjoying a much stronger and independent Ana, it's a big change from the one from the books and sometimes I felt like slapping her silly reading them even though I really enjoyed the books.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Ana he's so cute" Kate bounced a 12 week old Teddy on her knee, Ana was busy around the kitchen making dinner for the both of them "So what's the deal with you and Christian? I see myself your both spending more time together. Any romance brewing?" she looked up from Teddy and over to Ana who looked over her shoulder at her curious friend.

"We have been talking about different things, you know he keeps bringing up the question of moving back in with him. I have been thinking hard about it and we have been spending time together, Christian tries to make it romantic but I think we should see Dr Flynn first. He has helped us in the past especially when I needed reassurance about Christian. I have told him that we should see him for help, I know you may think I'm dragging this out but Kate I want to know I can trust him again, I don't think I could really forgive him even though deep down I want to." She placed the dish in the oven and wiped her hands walking over to Kate and taking Teddy in her arms.

"Mmm" Teddy cooed at Ana who sat him up kissing his head. Kate smiled at him and he placed his fingers in his mouth chewing away. "Ana I know this is really hard for you, I can't imagine what it's like with Teddy caught in the middle. Christian is sorry everyone knows it even you but it really is up to you at the end of the day whether you can let it go and actually forgive him. I never thought I'd see the day where I would stick up for Christian Grey" she laughed "He really is working hard to get you back, he takes both of you out all the time and have you seen how he is with Teddy, they are almost inseparable when they are together, he cries for him when he visits if he has to go take a call. He is a great father Ana" she placed her hand on her friends knee giving a reassuring squeeze.

"I know Kate, he is a great father there is no doubt about that. I just wish that Teddy wasn't in the middle of everything. I wouldn't change having him for the world but if he wasn't here Christian and I's relationship would be different, he wouldn't respect the fact I can look after myself. I know he sends Taylor the odd time to check on us but he has loosened up since I had Teddy and moved out on my own. We are finding out more and more about each other and he seems carefree and relaxed. He isn't the same Christian it's refreshing, I rather take my time with him. Sometimes though I do wish I could wake up in his arms but I'm stubborn so I will wait until we can talk about some of the trust issues with Flynn first" she handed Teddy back to Kate as she went to serve her dish. Kate was about to give try and persuade her more when Ana interrupted her "Come on less of this serious talk and lets just dig in and have a nice meal and light conversation" she smiled at Kate who couldn't argue with her being in such a good mood.

* * *

"Now son this is Charlie Tango. My favourite way to travel is up in the air in this" Ana, Kate and Elliot laughed as Christian was explaining Charlie Tango to his 3 month old son who was too busy with the buttons on Christian's blackberry. "See this is your special seat so you can come and fly with me too" he said as he placed Teddy in a specialised seat made for him. He strapped him in securely and placed a little head seat on him to which he smiled and tried to play with the mike on it. Ana sat on the other side of Teddy and Christian made sure she was also securely strapped in along with Kate and Elliot who were further back in the helicopter. Elliot rolled his eyes at how brother going overboard with going tight with the straps "Whoa bro easy there, I need to breathe"

"I need to make sure everyone is in securely" he murmured "well I also need to have air in my lungs lil bro" he slapped his shoulder affectionately.

"Elliot stop teasing him" Kate scolded him "He's just making sure everyone is okay"

"Geez since when are you my brother's biggest fan?" Elliot scowled and Christian laughed

"If you ever want to get laid again I suggest you shut it Elliot" Ana burst into laughter at Elliot's facial expression, she had turned to look as soon as Kate began to answer him. "Yeah Lelliot" Christian threw Elliot's nickname at him "Listen to your girlfriend big bro" _This is more like it, relaxing and carefree Christian. I wish he could be like this all the time, it would make things much easier. _Ana thought as she relaxed back into her seat. Christian then closed the doors and sat himself in, strapping himself in wearing the headset with Mike. Ana zoned taking in the scenery as Christian began to take off. She glanced down at little Teddy as he cooed through the Mike, Christian laughed at him and took one hand and patted his head before focusing back on flying.

"I have to hand it to you bro, you got skill" he laughed as Elliot took in the the city from the air "I bet it's great being you?"

"Yeah it's not bad" he shrugged his shoulder and Ana rolled her eyes laughing along with Kate. "Though it could be better" he said looking at his son and then to Ana. She caught onto the double meaning of it. Elliot and Kate were completely oblivious to their exchange they were too busy looking around at the view they were getting from the air. Teddy gave a toothless grin at his father when he handed him a toy helicopter from the dash of Charlie Tango "Here you go son your own mini Charlie Tango" Teddy tried to get of grip of it in his hands but it kept falling into his lap. He was content in trying to hold his grip on it than anything else, the headset on him was left alone for once since they had took off.

* * *

"Thanks for that Christian, we have to get you to take us out more" Kate beamed at him as they made their way to the beach side restaurant. She was hand in hand with Elliot as they strolled along ahead of them walking barefoot on the beach. Christian held Teddy in his arms and his shoes in the other. Ana walked beside him taking in the beach and the warm sand between her toes. Christian stopped waiting for her, he watched her lovingly as she relaxed. "Ana you coming?" he brought her back

"Yeah I was just enjoying all this, it's quite relaxing" she smiled at Christian and the sleeping infant in his arms

"It is, it's nice seeing you like this, you look better, happy" he frowned slightly

"I feel it too" she smiled at him, she noticed as his face fell slightly "It's also because we are getting to know each other better, our son is starting to mumble mama every now and I just feel genuinely happy. It gets hard from time to time, I know we have been having a rough couple of months and I am hoping I can speak to Dr Flynn again" Christian screwed up his face

"Ana why do you need to see him you and Kate talk and we do too" he grumbled "Christian I need to speak to him not only about how I feel about the relationship, how Teddy is caught up in this but the trust issues and forgiveness" she sighed "Christian come on lets not ruin this I am having a good time today, lets go and get some lunch"

"Okay" the corners of his lips twitched up in a small smile as they caught up with Kate and Elliot "There you two are, we thought you got lost" Elliot joked around with his brother as he slipped on his shoes and socks as Kate held Teddy. "So bro what's good here ? Your the expect on the fine wine and dining as I've heard" Elliot grasped Christian's shoulders lightly as he threw an arm over them.

* * *

"So was today up to Katherine Kavanagh's expectations?" Christian joked as the got out of the helicopter and walked to the cars. "That has to be a trick question" she laughed at Christian "Yes to answer it yes it was up to my expectations Mr Money Bags" Ana nearly choked on the bottle of water she was drinking. Christian and Elliot laughed uncontrollably _At least he found the nickname funny I thought he would have been a bit mad. Calm Ana._

"Thanks for today bro, now I am going to get my lady home so are you okay driving Ana and the little guy" he stroked Teddy's cheek lightly

"Yeah I got it" he smiled as they said their goodbyes as Christian led Ana to his car. He strapped Teddy in and covered him with a new blanket he had bought him. "So Kate told me you cooked for her last night?" he started up a conversation as they got settled into the car.

"Yeah I used to always cook for her in college, she was brutal" she laughed "Just don't tell her I said that" Christian grinned his all American boyish grin at her. "Your secret is safe with me" he chuckled shaking his head as they drove towards Ana's apartment. They kept up the light relaxing conversation the whole way, none of them bothered bringing up anything that could ruin the mood. "Can I tuck Teddy in?" Christian asked her looking hopeful, she couldn't refuse him wanting to help

"Sure" she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and went around to get Teddy from his car seat. "Come on Teddy" she whispered as she scooped him up in her arms covered with his baby blanket. "Let's get you to bed for a nap"

"He really is out for the count isn't he?" Christian smiled as the rose the elevator to the apartment. "He sure loves his sleep"

"I know I guess that sea air got to him" Ana smiled down at her son cradled in her arms. She looked up to him as the doors opened on her floor. She walked out Christian following close behind as she reached her front door. She turn the key in the lock and turned on the lights as Christian went ahead to open the door to Teddy's nursery. Christian took him into his arms giving his a kiss and whispering something in his ear, Ana couldn't quite make out. He lay him in his crib and they both stepped out quietly.

"I never did say thank you for earlier, I really did have a good time" she smiled at him as they went back to the living room.

"I know you enjoyed it, you could see it written on your face, it was no problem really" his eyes twinkled with amusement as he shrugged his shoulders "I don't want to ruin it yet but do you really mean we can try again if we start going to sessions with John?"

"Well we have to see how they go first but I need to see him and so do you whether you may not like it Christian, look I know you hate me bringing up your past but considering what has happened to you and that we barely talk about it, which I think we do, we need to confront our demons together if we are to work" she touched his cheek with one of her hands before moving away from him. He looked up as she sat down at the kitchen counter

"If that is what it is going to take I can do that. We can go see Dr Flynn together" she almost died on the inside _Oh Christian, you really are trying _"I guess I should get going, early business meeting tomorrow morning" he moved towards her grasping her hand and bringing it up to his lips "I'll see you soon then" she smiled nodding as he got up and left. She got up from her place and moved to sit on the sofa resting her head back against the top of it. She went over the conversations and arguments she has had with him these past few weeks over going to Dr Flynn, she lost count the amount of times they had brought that conversation up but tonight it was settled, they were paying Dr John Flynn a long overdue visit.


	9. So What's The News ?

A/N** I am going to apologise in advance if this chapter is not up to standards. My parents decided to have a party and invite my aunts and uncles over so I had mind the kids while typing this up, then I get a phone call off my neighbour asking me to mind 4 kids which are all under the age of 7. I actually rushed a bit to get this typed up and I promise to put a lot of work into the next chapter. **

**So basically today I am so busy. Tomorrow I promise to get up earlier and type up 1 or 2 good chapters (if you guys are lucky) and make sure to have them up by Tuesday afternoon :) So keep a look out and please bear with me people :)**

**Nearly 19,000 views on this story I checked them today, holy shit I am so proud. **

**LOVE ALL MY FOLLOWERS,REVIEWERS AND THE GUESTS ;) You guys keep me writing.**

_I REALLY AM SORRY FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS CHAPTER I AM SO SORRY, I PROMISE BETTER UPDATES._

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Teddy, no, no,no,no. Hunny don't put that in your mouth" Ana ran to her son who was lying on his play mat on the floor about to put a coin he found on the floor into his mouth. She spotted him from the corner or her eye and managed to get to him just as his pudgy hand reached his mouth with the coin in it. He grinned up at Ana who looked like she was going to have a heart attack "So this is funny huh? You like giving mommy a heart attack ?" Teddy smiled and babbled in his own baby lingo as Ana scooped her soon up off the floor and into her arms. "Okay sweetie no more floor time today, I'd rather not have to rush to the A&E with you" she kissed his cheek and placed her son on her hip. She was about to go get him a bottle when her phone rang she juggled him and the baby mat as she went to get her phone, she placed the mat back down and sat on the sofa and answered her phone "Hello?"

"Ana it's Jose" her eyes brightened at the sound of her friend's voice, they hadn't spoke since the birth of Teddy.

"Oh my god, Jose? I haven't seen or spoke to you in so long. How are you?" she was bubbling with excitement.

"I'm really good, I just want to see how my best friend was doing, is life all good up your end?" Ana listened to him, there was something different about how he sounded.

"Well it's going okay well you know with the whole Christian thing we're kinda working it out somehow and Teddy is 3 months old. It's hard to believe it's been that long since I have seen you and would you believe that Teddy Bear you bought him is his favourite stuffed animal he wont sleep unless it's next to him in his crib" Ana babbled as Jose laughed at her rambling.

"That's great Ana, I'm in town next week. Is it okay to stop by? I have another show here and I have big news too" Jose told her

"Sure Jose I can't wait to see you, it really has been too long. Look I have to go I'll see you next week"

"See you Ana" he said as she shut her phone off. Teddy was holding his toy helicopter Christen had given him the day before and was occupied. She placed him in his stroller and filled the diaper bag. She was taking him out for a walk in a nearby park, she called Kate to join her.

* * *

"So Jose is coming? Great our trio can get back together for a few drinks, I'm sure Christian wont mind babysitting or if you feel more comfortable letting Elliot mind him ? I can ask for you." Kate said as they sat on a bench looking as the mothers, fathers and children played happy families before her eyes, how she wanted it to be like that.

"No I'll ask Christian but I don't want him to think bad of me for going out with Jose. You know how jealous he is, especially of Jose because we're so close." Ana exclaimed as Kate just nodded

"It's kinda a turn on though" Kate winked at Ana

"Kate" she exclaimed loudly, she blushed as some people looked their way

"What? You have to admit though Ana, I mean the guy is nuts about you even after everything that has happened and he gets jealous because he believes he has competition which he doesn't because you haven't looked at a guy the same way since you met him" Kate grinned as Ana blushed "Don't even deny it girl, I know you"

"Alright enough" Ana started to giggle "So what do you think Jose wants? I mean he sounded off on the phone earlier, I haven't seen him in months so what could it be?

"I don't know, sure we will find out next week" Kate said as she glanced in to find Teddy clutching the wooden helicopter "He sure loves helicopters like his daddy"

"Yeah he hasn't put the thing down since Christian gave it to him" Ana smiled admiringly at her son who was trying to keep a grip on the toy. She glanced at her watch "hey we better get going Christian is coming over to collect Teddy, he's keeping him overnight"

"So do you want to go get some drinks?"

"I don't know"

"Come on, you have one night off with Teddy going with Christian, come out with me?" Kate beamed

"Fine"

"Great"Kate grinned throwing her arms around Ana as they got up and made their way back to Ana's apartment.


	10. That's Devious But Hilarious

A/N** I really hope these chapters will make up for the last one I posted :)**

**First can I say the party last night was such a great one. Plus my cousin stayed over and we stayed up all night talking and well partying LOL**

**I had to wait until she left to get onto my laptop because i couldn't leave her sitting there while I typed up a new chapter.**

**So here we go on with the new chapters.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"So did Christian mind babysitting?" Kate sipped her drink along with Ana as they sat at the bar of the nightclub, the music playing loudly

"You no Christian, he wanted me to take Taylor here" Kate nearly choked on her drink "I convinced him otherwise. He wasn't a bit impressed and do you know what he did? He made an eight o clock appointment with Dr Flynn tomorrow morning. He even took the day off work too"

"Crafty fucker that Christian isn't he?" Kate grinned as Ana got in a huff. "Oh come on Ana he just doesn't want anything to happen you and he really wants to get back together with you" Kate held Ana's hand "Now turn that frown upside down because 'Let's Go' just came on and I need a dance partner" Kate didn't give Ana a chance to respond as she dragged her onto the dance floor. They soon became the main attraction at the nightclub during the song and they gave it their all, the dj shown the lights on them causing the crowds to cheer as the song ended. They went back to the bar and ordered another round of drinks.

* * *

"Mrs Jones...Mrs Jones...Gail" Christian yelled as Mrs Jones came to his frantic state

"Mr Grey I am sorry but" she then burst into a fit of giggles at the site before her, Christian was holding a half naked Teddy at arms length and then she looked at his clothing to realise Teddy had peed on his brand new Armani suit. "I am so sorry Mr Grey, I apologise for that" she held back another laugh at his state.

"Gail enough of the formalities just help me" he almost whined as he handed Teddy to Gail and went to get a change of clothes. He came back to find Teddy sitting in a t shirt and his new diaper smiling happily up at Gail "Here you are Mr Gr- Christian. All changed and no mess" she grinned as she handed Teddy back to an embarrassed Christian.

"So buddy you decided to pee all over daddy huh?" Teddy babbled in his baby lingo as if he was having a conversation with his father. Christian laughed at him "Yeah you got daddy good. All over my new suit too buddy" he ruffled the growing hair on his son's head "Let's get you ready for bed and then we can get you a bit of supper and a nice warm bottle of milk" Christian picked Teddy up and lay him on his bed as he reached for his blue all in ones with the small pictures of white clouds and a cartoon helicopter. "There's a good boy" he picked Teddy up again

"Everything sorted Christian?" Mrs Jones couldn't get used to the sound of his first name coming from her mouth

"Yeah I'm just gonna get him something before I put him down for the night" Christian bounced Teddy in his arms gently as he smiled up at his father.

"Well I have some puréed fruit ready for him and I have a bottle heating for when you're ready" Mrs Jones handed the small bowl and a baby spoon to Christian. He placed Teddy in his adjustable seated high chair and sat for a few minutes before he was interrupted "Mr Grey?"

"I need help" he said hopelessly "I watched my mother do it before and Ana but they make it look easy" he flushed

"Here I'll show you" she took his hand in her own and scooped a tiny bit of purée onto the spoon and brought it to Teddy's mouth, he tasted it at first and sucked on it gently because he was only learning how to feed from the spoon "See there he goes. Now Mr Grey" Christian eyed her "Now Christian, why don't you try it now?" Christian repeated what Mrs Jones had shown him and he smiled proudly when Teddy was finished. Mrs Jones had cooled a bottle for him and cleaned up Teddy's face and handed the bottle to Christian as he scooped Teddy into his arms "Thank you Gail"

"It's no problem" Christian smiled genuinely at her as she resumed cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. Christian took Teddy up to his room and lay on the bed with his son lying beside him, a pillow on the side of him incase he rolled over when they were asleep. "Here buddy" Christian fed him his bottle and watched as the baby dozed off beside him. He placed a baby blanket over Teddy and turned off the bedroom light and got back in beside his sleeping son "Night baby bird" he whispered as he closed his eyes remembering the name he was called as a small child.

* * *

"She said yeah,yeah,yeah. Oh,oh" Ana and Kate sung their drunken hearts out on the way home from the club, she had one too many shots but she enjoyed herself for once. "Kate shhh" she giggled as she heard her phone ring "Probably the master himself checking in" Kate burst into a fit of laughter at her friends drunken state

"To what to I owe the pleasure of a phone call on my night out your royal highness" she answered her phone not checking the i.d

"Ana?" the voice on the other end of the line made her sober up a bit

"Jose?" Kate silenced for a moment to let Ana speak

"Are you drunk?" she laughed at Jose as he became slightly worried on the other end.

"Define drunk" she giggled "Well I had a good time" Kate rolled her eyes and mouthed 'typical Jose'

"That's great" Jose laughed at the other end "I was just calling to let you know my flight was moved earlier so I should be in tomorrow evening. Is that okay?"

"That's great" she smiled and shouted over at Kate who was stopping a taxi "Kate, Jose is gonna be here tomorrow evening" Kate then shouted "WHOOO"

"Well I guess I better leave you drunken ladies then" he laughed "Just look after your self Ana I don't want to turn on the news tomorrow to find you and Kate's pictures with missing or dead on it"

"Jose we will be fine" she laughed as she got into the taxi beside Kate "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Bye Ana, tell Kate I said bye" he hung up leaving Ana feeling happier

"I can't believe he's visiting tomorrow" Ana smiled at Kate then her eyes went wide "Oh shit I forgot to tell Christian. I need someone to pick him up from the airport my car is going to be serviced tomorrow" Ana groaned as she slapped her hand to her forehead

"Both Elliot and I are going looking for a house together tomorrow. I'd help you out but we had this planned a while" she gave Ana a sympathy smile

"It's fine Kate, I'm glad you two are getting a place together" she smiled "I guess I have to ask Christian to drive me to the airport"

"Does he know about Jose?"

"About him flying in?" Ana looked at Kate who was giving her the 'are you stupid?' look

"No does he know about him being engaged? Maybe if you told him he wouldn't be so jealous" Ana giggled as she remembered the conversation she had late last night with Jose. She couldn't take the secrecy and distance her friend was giving her over the phone so she drilled him until he caved and told her everything

* * *

_"__Jose Rodriguez we have been best friends for years so don't you dare lie to me just tell me what's going on" she was pissed over the phone and Jose was becoming useless at trying to keep her in the dark "Well? Anything to tell me?"_

_"__I'm getting married" Ana nearly dropped her phone, she heard Jose call her name several times before she came back to reality "Ana are you okay?"_

_"__So this is the news?" she asked excitedly_

_"__Yeah can you believe it? I'm engaged and she's amazing, I was hoping to bring her along to visit but I needed to ask you first" he was rambling and was nervous enough as it was._

_"__Jose stop right there, you don't need my permission. I am so happy for you. You need to bring the girl that caught the attention of my life long best friend. Oh my god I can't believe this" she was smiling and began to cry_

_"__Are you crying?" Jose asked worriedly_

_"__You don't know how happy I am for you Jose"_

_"__Thanks Ana" she wiped her tears "Can I ask you one thing?"_

_"__Sure"_

_"__Was Christian pissed when I used to visit and hang out with you?"_

_"__Yeah" she laughed_

_"__Does he still get like that? I'm sorry if I am getting too personal" _

_"__What are you getting at Jose?" he laughed at her_

_"__Don't tell him I'm engaged. We can surprise him when we see him" Ana got into a full fit of the giggles _

_"__Jose Rodriguez that's downright mean" she still couldn't stop laughing_

_"__So should I not do it?"_

_"__No go right ahead it's hilarious" they both laughed "Look I have to go Teddy is awake and crying. I'll see you in a few days"_

_"__Bye Ana, give Baby Grey a kiss from uncle Jose" she giggled "Will do Jose"_

* * *

"Oh my god Ana that's so devious but fucking hilarious" Kate grinned

"Hey it was all his idea not mine" she jumped out of the taxi, she waved Kate off before staggering up to her apartment "Finally" she put the key in the lock and turned it. She switched on the lights and grabbed a glass of water. She locked up the house and put her alarm on before falling into bed.


	11. A Scolding From Dr Flynn

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Shit,shit,shit" Ana ran around her room as she pulled on some fresh clothes and trying to be quick as possible. She slept through her alarm and a hangover was beginning to set in. She took some Advil and water before she left and called a cab to take her to Dr Flynn's. She called Christian to tell him she slept in and he was slightly pissed. He didn't say much but huffed and said that they would wait before starting their session.

She arrived half an hour late to find Christian sitting oddly calm with Dr Flynn who was holding Teddy in his arms grinning down at him. They didn't even notice her come in. "So sorry" Christian glanced up at her and just grinned at Dr Flynn and his son "He seems to like you John"

"Yeah it has to be the charm" Christian burst out laughing "John it's anything but that" Ana watched as they had some light hearted jokes at one another "So Ana nice of you to finally join us" Dr Flynn placed Teddy gently back into his car seat and strapped him in. He gave him a toy car off his desk to try keep him quiet for the session.

"So Christian, Ana. It's been a while since I had the both of you here with me. So as I understand a lot has went on between the both of you since the marriage and then Teddy's arrival?"

"You could say that" Ana answered as she took a seat on the sofa near Christian

"Christian?" Dr Flynn waited for him to elaborate

"John you already know so don-"

"Christian look I am not taking sides in this but I need to hear it from your mouth and Ana needs to hear what you told me and then I will here her side of the story okay?"

"Fine" he huffed "After the marriage I thought we were doing fine and Ana you said we were so I believed it. I didn't have to worry so much then with what happened with Leila and Elena I was constantly worried 24/7. I was trying to protect you" he swallowed before he began to speak again "When you told me you were pregnant I was pissed, I shouldn't have been but I was. I was scared too Ana I was scared I'd become a dead beat like my own father. I never knew him and the only father I knew was Carrick and he was nothing but nice to me but he wasn't blood related. I was afraid that I would have that dead beat running through my veins and that I wouldn't be able to cope. I told you to leave because I was scared"

"Alright Christian I have heard a bit or your side of the story. Ana would you mind telling me how you felt that day" John looked to Christian who looked a nervous wreck recalling that day and the events it held.

"Well what he said about the marriage was true, it was going great. I knew he was scared of what could happen me after Leila and everything else but getting pregnant was not first on my priority list. I was scared how he'd react and I knew he was scared he would turn out like his biological father but he didn't give me a chance to take everything in. I had only found out 3 hours I was pregnant before I told him and then the row, he asked me to leave" she held back her tears but they began to make their way down her face. John grabbed a tissue and passed it to her "Ana I'm sorry I am upsetting you but I need you to continue. Christian and I need to her your side.

"No we don't"

"Christian please" Ana begged

"It's upsetting her" Christian growled at Dr Flynn

"Christian stop it I am fine" she placed her hand on his arm and as if by magic he calmed himself

"Thank you Ana. Now what did you do when you left"

"I went to my old apartment. I didn't un pack or anything for days. I just cried all the time, day in day out. I couldn't believe he threw me out because of a pregnancy. I was angry, sad,depressed. I felt alone. Hell my dad soon found out and was going to beat him up for it. I had to beg and plead with him not too. My dad isn't a violent man but he was really angry that day. He trusted you when he allowed you to marry me" she turned to Christian tears streaming down her face "He was so mad. I.. I.. I'm sorry I can't tell you any more"

"That's okay Ana. I needed to hear something from your point of view. Look I will book you both in for another appointment soon maybe next week if that would suit you both ?"

Ana nodded and Christian mumbled "Yes"

"Right off the record. You both need to keep coming and talking if you are ever going to get together. Look I seen you both when you first met Christian, Ana, You loved him and never stopped trying to get him to open up and he did and I know you still love him now despite what has been going on. The both of you need to try harder because you have this little fella here." he turned to Teddy who was sitting in his car seat smiling at his parents "Use him as a common goal to work towards repairing your relationship. These joint custody things are messy and horrible to put a child through, even though he is just a baby he will begin to understand as he gets older. Just keep that in mind both of you" Ana sat listening and glanced to Christian whose mouth nearly dropped at the forwardness of Dr Flynn

"Are we both happy with the decision to come next week?" Dr Flynn asked again and acted as if he never said anything. "Yes" the said

"Well today's session is just over. See you both next week" Ana smiled politely and Christian just got up and took Teddy. "Ana" John called her back "Just give him a chance. I know he's hard work I have been his psychiatrist for a few years now but you have been around less than me and you have managed to get past barriers no one could before"

"I know John, I know" she sighed

"Sorry if I was harsh with the both of you"

"It's okay I have had a scolding far worse anyway" she smiled at him before leaving "Bye John"

"What took you so long?" Christian asked as he waited in the reception area

"Nothing I just had to ask him something"

"About wha-"

"It's private"

"Fine" he huffed again as they began walking out onto the street and towards his car.

"Christian will you stop acting like a petulant child"

"Sorry" he looked down "I don't like it when you cry like that and John pissed me off today" he grunted

"Well people will from time to time like maybe you piss him off and you don't know it" Christian smirked and Ana smiled as she caught sight of the time "Ugh I'm late now"

"Where are you going? And late for what?" Christian asked

"I'm supposed to on the way to the airport. Jose is flying in, well his flight will be here in about two hours"

"Why is he coming?"

"He's my friend and he can visit when he likes" Ana could see the jealousy radiating off him "Plus I am going to have to try get a ride because my car is being serviced today"

"I'll give you one" he smirked at Ana

"Christian" she scolded him but laughed as the tension between them eased.

* * *

"Ah here he is" Christian heard Ana say as she spotted Jose. She hugged him and whispered "Show time" Jose laughed as the walked towards Christian wrapped in each other's embraces holding back giggles.

Ana looked him dead in the eye "Christian, we have something to tell you"


	12. I've Tried Everything

**A/N Sorry for leaving you with a cliff hanger but today I just found out some horrible things and its not appropriate to stick them up here. I am absolutely gutted at what I have found out and I haven't been sleeping much over it. I hope to have new updates soon and I hope you can try and excuse the lack of updates I give. **

**I know I was mean last chapter with the last part but I'm not completely cruel altogether.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was kinda rushed and all but it's the best I could come up with for you guys for the moment.**

_**I'll try sort you guys out with a new chapter sometime tomorrow.**_

_Also check out this song after reading the chapter or before it if you prefer it_

youtube dot com/watch?v=lIB68dMgDko&feature=share

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Ana?" Christian looked wide eyed between the pair when he seen a girl rush to kiss Jose on the cheek "Hey babe"

"Christian, Jose is engaged" Ana told him and relief washed over him.

"Hi you must be Ana? Jose's best friend?"

"Yeah and I'm so sorry he only told me a few days ago I barely got time to ask him your name"

"Oh it's Jade" she said happily pulling Ana in for a hug which she happily returned as the three of the began chatting away. Christian stood awkwardly with Teddy in his stroller "Oh and this is Ana's husband Christian and this little guy right here is Teddy" Jose said introducing Christian and Jade. Ana was a bit uncomfortable at the moment That's what you get for playing with fire Ana, you get burned.

"Jade" Christian took her hand as he snapped out of it. He glared at Jose who was grinning at him playfully. Christian and Jose took the bags while the girls took Teddy and walked ahead "You okay Christian?" Jose asked as Christian refused to speak "Christian it was just a joke, as much as you may not have noticed she is still nuts about you. We were going to tell you about the engagement and everything about Jade"

"Well I didn't find it one fucking bit funny" Christian spat at Jose who flinched "You probably loved every minute you got to spend with my wife and the mother of my child while I sat home thinking of ways to try and get her back. I went through hell over the past year with her not there and I am sorry for everything I caused her but I am not going to hang around to be messed with when I am serious about wanting her in my life"

"Calm the fuck down. You know what man, it wasn't even her idea, she didn't want to go along with it. I did and you know what I am not sorry for it. You put my best friend through hell when you threw her out on her ass when she was pregnant. She is right to make you wait to get back with her, you're lucky she even speaks to you after all the shit you did to her"

"Do you know what Jose? Just shut the fuck up because you haven't went through it and even though you may be engaged I can still fucking see the way you look at Ana" Christian was losing it and noticed how Jose stayed quiet "What is this? A cover because you couldn't get Ana? I'm not sorry for even saying that so now WE'RE EVEN" he shouted the last part as Ana and Jade turned around to find Christian and Jose sizing each other up, face to face ready to pounce on one another

"Christian?" Ana called and he backed off

"Jose? Come on" she flashed him a smile and he came to her side. She then told him to go and get the rental car and Christian took Teddy to his car "Ana is this over that joke with Jose?"

"Yeah" she guiltily looked down

"I heard he can be a bit over protective. I know he has some issues and stuff, don't get mad but Jose told me. Look I only found out as we we're boarding the plane and Jose rushed off as soon as we landed I couldn't stop him. Look my brother well he was adopted and had become very over protective and stuff over the years but you shouldn't mess around because our joke is their too far. You get me? Look it's none of my business but just give him a while he will cool off" she smiled at Ana who couldn't even begin to imagine what he was feeling now "Look I am going to have a long ass talk with that fiancée of mine so about shit like this. You seem really nice and I don't want to fall out or anything before we get to know each other some more but just listen to what I said Ana" she waved as Jose beeped the car outside the airport.

* * *

Ana made her way to the car where Christian sat waiting for her, he didn't even say anything or look at her. He just drove. She fidgeted with her fingers "Why?" he whispered, his heartbroken plea "I thought... You?.. I can't belie-" he stops shaking his head as they pull over and Ana realises they are just outside the apartments. "I'll get Teddy for you" he gets out as he scoops his son in his arms and walked ahead as Ana locked his car. They walked in silence to the elevator in her apartment building. As it reached her floor they stepped out still no word spoken between them since the car. Christian stood aside to let Ana unlock the door. She watched as he cradled their son and took him into his nursery and closed the door as quietly as possible.

"Christian I'm sor-"

"Do you even want me back ?"

"Christian?"

"Ana please just answer the question. Do you want me back ? I have been jumping through hoops, I have been doing a lot of shit just so I can see you more. I make sure I collect Teddy when I am supposed to and everything. I just...I don't..I don't understand" he sat down a little sob escaping him and his tears began

"Christian" she was beside him in an instant holding him "I didn't mean it, I just went along with a stupid joke, I know I shouldn't have but I did" she rubbed his back soothingly

"Ana I've tried everything just to get you back, I even went with you to Dr Flynn like you suggested I just want you back in my life, not just visiting I need you home" he sobbed harder and Ana's heart broke. "You said if I tried we could fix things, I have been Ana"

"Christian I know, I know, I'm sorry baby" she kissed his head and not letting him go as the sobs raked through his body. He moved so he could lay his head in her lap with his feet propped up on the sofa. He lay so he could face her, she seen the tear streaked face looking back at her. His eyes were full of emotion but the clearest one of all was the hurt he was feeling. "I need to go" he said after a few moments as he wiped his eyes getting up to a sitting position, he couldn't handle that she hadn't answered his question.

"Don't go Christian" Ana pleaded with him as she latched onto his hand

"I have to unless you give me an answer" he wouldn't look down at her, he was holding back another sob.

"I do want you back" she whispered but he heard it "I don't want you to go. Please stay?"

"Ana" he looked in the eyes before grabbing the back of her neck with a gentle force and colliding his lips with hers. She stood only for a second before reacting to the kiss as she grabbed onto his shoulders before throwing her arms around his neck pulling him closer as she ran her hands through his copper hair tugging gently. He held her close with his arms firmly around her waist. It was like time stood still for the pair as they kissed each other with so much passion until the need for breathing became a priority "You don't know how long I have wanted to do that for" he said between his rushed breaths. His boyish smile on show "You're not joking around ?" he said slightly concerned as he stood back to look at her.

"No Christian" she choked back a sob "I really didn't mean it, earlier it was a joke and I will make it up to you. I do want you back, I am not lying about that " he pulled her into his arms "I missed you Christian and it's been horrible to keep telling you know and giving you excuses to stay away, I was being stubborn and selfish on Teddy's behalf, we both need you, I need you"

"Oh Ana" he buried her face into the crook of his neck "I'm here baby, I'm not going to let either of you go, not now, not ever baby. It's been hell without you"

"But you're going to have to respect my wishes to do my own thing, I don't need escorts or people running around after me, I have been doing things for myself for a year now since we have been apart"

"I know baby, I'll do anything if you just come home with me" he said smiling through the tears "I just want you to come home Ana"

* * *

_**I have been dying to get them back together for ages now, I hated writing them fighting or being apart from one another. So that situation with Jose could have gone the other way and Christian could of said fuck you I'm done but no I couldn't do that to my lovely reviewers. **_


	13. Really Elliot ?

**Holding On & Letting Go**

* * *

Christian awoke to the sound of Teddy who was nestled in between him and Ana who was fast asleep. He smiled as his son babbled away occasionally calling him. He had started calling 'da' only two days beforehand.

"Come on Teddy. Let mama sleep" he scooped his son up in his arms. He awoke during the night and was more than happy to sleep between the pair who were on the edge of the bed all night with no duvet, they were afraid he would smoother with the duvet so only Teddy had a baby blanket covering him. "Let's get you a bottle and make mama some breakfast" he tiptoed out into the hall and closed the door quietly behind him as Ana slept peacefully. "Right little guy where does mama keep your bottles?" Christian eyed the kitchen and as he held Teddy upright in his arms facing outwards. "Ah here we go. Now you sit here and be really quiet while I heat this up" he kissed his son's forehead and placed him in the cushioned play mat on the floor. He kicked his legs happily as Christian worked away in the kitchen. As the bottle was heating he got a head start on the breakfast. He had been taking cooking lessons from Gail and she started him off with the easy things like bacon and eggs for breakfast with pancakes and maple syrup. The first time he tried it he was wearing his expensive Armani suit and splashed grease all over it from the pan, Gail was expecting an out burst but she was shocked when he just shrugged his shoulders and continued to work away at the stove.

"da" he heard a strangled cry on the floor when he seen Teddy face down on the mat, he managed to roll himself over. "hey hey hey" he picked him up in his arms and rocked him gently. "Come on buddy and we get your bottle" he went towards the cooker and turned it off, he could start the breakfast after he fed Teddy. "Here" he placed the heated bottle of breast milk near his mouth when Teddy latched on and sucked greedily "I guess you were hungry huh?" he smirked

"I am too Mr Grey" he turned around to find Ana wearing the shirt he thought he lost but soon discovered Ana was keeping it the whole time "I believe I heard you were attempting to make breakfast" he smirked at her words

"Well ask Gail how good of a cook I am. I've been practising" he sounded almost childlike as he sat with Teddy in his arms and Ana made her way around to sit beside him. She watched smiling as Christian bottle fed their son with a huge grin plastered on his face as he spoke lowly enough only for his son to hear him.

"I'll help you make breakfast, just come and help when you're done" Ana kissed his head as she got up and went towards the counter top with the stove. "You want coffee?" she asked as her back was to him as she worked away

"sure, make it black though" he sat Teddy upright as he burped him. "Alright little guy let's get you changed and dressed" he patted his tummy as Teddy cooed up at him. "Right let's see what surprise daddy has to change in this diaper" his nose crinkled as Teddy kicked away as he opened his diaper. "buddy you gotta stay easy" Teddy gave him a toothless grin still kicking his legs "Thank god it's only pee this time" he said as placed a clean diaper on his son. Christian sat Teddy up slightly as he took his vest off. "Okay what does mommy want you to wear ?" Christian placed Teddy in the middle of the bed as he pulled out a pile of clothes from his wardrobe. "Uhm.." he looked at them and shouted out to Ana "What is he wearing today?"

"Christian you're a grown man who can dress himself in the best of clothes and you can't even pick out an outfit for your four month old son?"

"Uhm... Yeah.."

"Hold on" Ana turned the stove on low as she ran into the bedroom "You go finish up out there I'll sort Teddy out" she grinned at his confusion as he held up the tiny outfits in his hands as Ana snatched them away with humour. "Christian are you coming to Jose & Jade's engagement announcement today?" Ana shouted out to him as she dressed Teddy in a white t-shirt and black jeans with a pair of high tops Elliot had bought him. She carried him in her arms and sat him in the cushioned high chair that attached to the kitchen counter. Christian was already sitting with the plates laid out full of food and a cup of tea for Ana while he had coffee.

"Do I have to ?" he asked sounding like a child

"Christian" she sighed rolling her eyes trying not to laugh

"What?"

"He's my best friend Christian and he's getting married, please come with me and Teddy?" she smiled at him and he caved "Fine" he grumbled as he finished off his bacon and eggs.

"It's a non formal wear party so just dress casual. I have a plain black suit jacket to put over Teddy's outfit"

"That kid has a better fashion sense than me and he's only four months old" he smiled as Teddy was getting comfortable in the chair as he rested his head to the side closing his eyes but stirring when they spoke.

"Well he does have a very sexy and fashionable daddy" she grinned over at him as she took a bite of her pancakes. They sat and ate in a comfortable silence but at the back of Ana's mind their conversation from last night well tears was still floating around, she knew they still needed to talk about it but decided for today she would leave it. Christian was in a great mood and his eyes regained that sparkle in them.

"What time is it starting at ?" he checked his blackberry, sent a few emails in the process and managed to give Taylor a call.

"2pm"

"Okay well since Teddy is asleep, you go get showered and dressed and when you're ready we will stop by my place to get changed and we will pick up some sort of an engagement gift?" he looked up

"That sounds good" she leaned over and pecked him on the lips when he grasped her face gently between his hands and held her there for a few moments longer "Christian if we are to get there on time you need to let me go get ready"

"I know" he smirked and sneakly swatted her butt as she walked away, she squealed not expecting that and he grinned "Christian Grey" she mock scolded him and he shrugged his shoulders "As Kate always tells you 'Your cards are marked Grey'"

* * *

Ana shook her head laughing as she stepped into the warm shower. It relaxed her muscles and like as if it washed away her worries. She got out feeling refreshed as she wrapped a fuzzy towel around her as she made her way back to her bedroom to find a dress similar to the one Kate loaned her when she went to Jose's photography exhibition, the night Christian couldn't keep his hands off her. There was even matching shoes and jewellery, she smiled as she read the little note that was left on the top

_My dearest Ana,_

_now I can shower you with gifts again,_

_please don't refuse it you know you it will look great on you._

_I took Teddy over to my place while you could get ready. _

_Pick you up in an hour,_

_Love Christian x_

"Sneaky and charming" she laughed as she picked the dress up and began to slip into it. It fit her womanly curves beautifully. She stepped into her new Louboutin matching pumps. She applied a small bit of makeup and began to dry her hair and catching it up in an elegant up style. She checked herself over in the mirror when she heard the door bell. She opened the door to find Taylor waiting for her "Mrs Grey" he winked at her

"So Christian told you ?"

"Yes" he laughed "Ana don't let Mr Grey know I said this but you're one fine looking momma" she laughed at him "Don't worry Taylor, our secret" she winked back at him grinning

"Well lets get going, Mr Grey and Teddy is waiting in the car. He's a stylish little fella with his suit jacket, t-shirt and jeans and then those chunky runner type shoes all the kids are wearing, what are they called?"

"Hightops, Elliot bought them for him but Christian just laughed he said Elliot had some fascination with them even though he's 30 years old" Taylor laughed at her comment as they reached the car

"I do too Mrs Grey" he held the door for her as she got inside and sat next to her husband "Wow" he looked her up and down "You look beautiful Ana"

"You don't look so bad yourself Christian" she lightly placed her hand in his as she leaned in to peck him on the lips and sat back into her seat "You're gonna be the most sexiest woman there and the sexiest momma" he grinned

"Right back at you Grey only you're the most sexiest man and daddy there" he smiled shyly at her

"Taylor take us to my mothers place, she and Kate have the place set up"

"They are having it at your mom's place?"

"Yeah Kate and Elliot intervened plus the back garden is huge, all set up and ready for a party"

"Does Jose know?" she raised her eyebrow looking at him curiously.

"Yeah Elliot called him and told him to keep it a surprise for his 'lady' as Elliot says" he chuckled

"You really don't like him much huh?" she grinned

"Ana"

"Christian what is it?" she was worried at why he was avoiding the question

"Can we not fight? I haven't got much left in me for fighting for over a year" he put his head down slightly as he just watched his hands in his lap

"Okay baby" she leaned over and kissed his cheek letting it be. She still couldn't figure out why Christian and Jose were at it neck and neck lately, they seemed fine before. What she didn't know about was their conversation they had at the airport the day before or would Christian even tell her?


	14. If We Ever Meet Again

**Holding On & Letting Go**

* * *

"Ana you look stunning dear" Grace grabbed her into a hug the minute she stepped through the door "Look at the figure and only four months after Teddy?"

"It's great to see you Grace, thanks for doing this for Jose and Jade" she smiled at her mother in law. "Oh look at my grandson, hi Teddy Bear" she grinned at Teddy who was wide awake and babbling words

"Na" he said for Nana. He was nearly throwing himself towards Grace as Christian struggled to keep him in his hold "Na" he repeated and Ana smiled "Let him off Christian he wants his nana" Ana smiled at the excitement in her son to be with his grandmother.

"Well look at you Ana" Elliot appeared out of nowhere with Kate on his tail. "Hey baby bro" he slapped Christian on the back as he looked to Teddy who was wearing something similar to him "Hey me and the kid match" he grinned at Teddy "Look we even have high tops" Kate and Ana grinned and Christian rolled his eyes "Elliot you're a fully grown man and you're obsessing over those"

"Shut it" he frowned as Teddy babbled at him "Ain't that right kiddo, you tell your daddy we got style" he gently high-fived Teddy who was giggling as Elliot tickled him as Grace held him in her arms. "Alright you pair behave we still have to hide and surprise our guests" Grace warned her two boys "Speaking of my children where is Mia?"

"Right here" she grinned "Aww look at my Teddy Bear. Mom hand my nephew over" Grace rolled her eyes as she kissed Teddy and handed him over to Mia "Hi" she kissed his cheek as he grinned back at her

"So are you and Ana back together because you both have that sex glow about you" she asked them. Ana blushed furiously and nearly choked on her wine and Christian scowled

"Mia" Elliot warned her

"Well they do"

"First of all we are working it out and second of all it's none of your business plus I don't think it's healthy to have sexy while your child is fast asleep between their parents" Mia nearly died of embarrassment as Christian retorted to her smart mouth.

"Now Mia scram" Elliot said as he took Teddy into his arms. Mia stomped off in a huff but all Kate and Ana could do was laugh. She was only nineteen only two years younger than them.

"I would seriously hate you two to be my older brothers" Ana and Kate told them "She was just joking around you are forgetting she is only nineteen"

"So she should watch what she says and it is none of her business" Elliot scowled it was similar to Christians even though they weren't blood related.

"Men" Kate scoffed "You little one better not act like that when your older" Kate said to Teddy who giggled at her kicking his legs happy to be in his uncle's arms.

* * *

"Quick everybody out the back Jose and Jade just arrived they are being driven up the side entrance now" Grace came in excitedly and everyone followed her out back to where it was decorated beautifully and a big banner with 'Congratulations Jose & Jade' in a fancy font in silver and gold paint.

"Hide everyone" Grace said as she spotted Jose come up the side with a blindfolded Jade. As soon as he took the blindfold off everyone jumped out and yelled surprise. "oh my god" she smiled as she kissed Jose who was equally smiling with her "how?"

"Christian's brother and his wife helped" she couldn't believe it when she seen her family, Jose's family, They Greys and Kate's family all having a ball before her eyes.

"Jose it's perfect and this is only the engagement party." she held his hand as Ana came up to her holding Teddy while Christian followed "Thank you so much" Jade was on the verge of tears

"It's not a problem" Christian smiled to see how happy she really was

"hi little guy" Jade smiled at Teddy who was reaching forward for her to take him "So it's baby Grey who wants the first dance huh?" she grinned as she took him onto the renovated floor for the day. Jose soon joined her as she danced with him and Teddy

"Christian I seen that look"

"What look?"

"Really? You two were having a pissing contest just in the looks you gave each other, What's going on ?" she asked him

"I can't tell you"

"Why?"

"It will ruin the day and I don't want you or Jose fighting as much as I don't like him" she rolled her eyes at Christian as he admitted to not liking him

"Are you jealous?"

"What?" he looked up and then scoffed "no"

"Look I am not being full of myself or anything but I did notice he eyed me when he seen me as he came in and I did notice you get all agitated so are you jealous?" he wouldn't answer her and his cheeks were now glowing red "Christian?"

"Yes I am jealous, I don't and never did like they way he looks at you" he was nearly exploding

"Okay calm down plus he has nothing on you baby" she kissed him as he deepened the kiss wrapping his arms around her waist as she did his neck. "Feel better?" he nodded his head like a small child barely meeting her gaze "Come on I want to dance before we hear the little speeches" she dragged Christian onto the dance floor.

* * *

In the middle of their dance Christian took Teddy from Jade and allowed her to dance with her fiancée alone, he liked her she was like his Ana but nowhere near as shy. "Thanks Jade but I think it's time my son stop hogging you from Jose" he grinned at her "Come on son let's go dance with mommy" Jade waved at him "Thanks for the dance baby Grey"

"aa..ma" he babbled when he seen Ana "There's my Teddy Bear" she cooed back at her son as Christian grinned "Look Teddy hogging all the women today" he grinned as he was about to walk off when Ana grabbed his hand "Where do you think you're going Mr Grey? I want to dance with both of my boys" she said as they danced while holding Teddy who was leaning on Ana leaving room for Christian to move closer to her as he sang into her ear as they danced as if they where in their own bubble.

"Carrick look" Grace pointed out as she sipped her wine from the table that Elliot and Kate decided to join to watch "Well would you look at that" Carrick smiled

"Quick get a camera they all are face our way and smiling so I want a nice photo" Grace said as Kate handed her one. They managed to snap two pictures of them in their own cuddly embrace and one of Christian and Ana smiling at each other while Teddy looks up at them grinning as he is held between them.

"So is it true?" Grace and Carrick asked not taking their eyes off their son

"What?" Elliot said

"Are they back together?"

"Well with that goofy grin Christian is wearing and from the way Ana is looking at him with those 'kiss me' eyes I think so

"It's about time, they were both so miserable"

"She's moving back in with him in a few days" Kate broke in

"How do you know?" Elliot asked raising his eyebrow

"I'm her best friend, I'm supposed to know" she winked as she dragged Elliot back out for another dance leaving Carrick and Grace laughing at him.

"I've never seen him so happy" Grace sniffled

"Hey what brought this on?" Carrick embraced her

"She really is good for him, he opened up so much and he doesn't refuse hugs. He even gave me a hug the other day before going to see Ana. Carrick you don't know how much that means to me" she weeped with happy tears

"I know he was a hard one to get through to, Ana did just fine and look at them now they have a beautiful and healthy baby boy. Christian had a hard life Grace, one we couldn't stop or prevent but it got him to where he was today. He might not have met Ana and we might not have two lovely daughter in-laws or our grandson" he kissed her cheek "Now wipe those tears and dance with your husband" he grinned at her

The rest of the evening went well, Jade and Jose had their maid of honor and best man give their speeches, they had a lovely meal and danced away not a bother to anyone. They didn't seem to notice that shadow that lurked in the background who watched Christian with Ana and Teddy.

"Until we meet again baby bird"


	15. Jack Is Back

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a bit I was worrying about my exam results and I haven't been getting much sleep or eating. I am happy to say I got 5 Honours & 2 Passes in them. I have never been so happy in all of my life :) My mam is even getting me Seasons 1-3 of the Vampire Diaries box set as a present.**

**So about the last chapter yeah it was about time that sneak Jack Hyde came back. I was dying to fit him in somewhere into the story and what better place then when christian is just getting his life back together. I know it's cruel but come on we need some excitement here ;) Well it's probably torture for you guys but it's good for me ;)**

**I really want to say thank you to each and every one of you who stuck by me in the story so far and we are no where near finished if you think I am gonna just up and leave without a good ending. So without anything else on the matter I hope you enjoy these chapters I have typed up in a really good mood. I hope the reviews will make my mood even better than it is already...**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Is that?" Christian looked over Ana's shoulder when his view was blocked by a couple dancing "What's wrong Christian?" Ana looked to him, her face full of worry and concern.

"I just thought...nevermind" he smiled reassuring Ana everything was fine. He was sure he saw someone, a hundred percent sure when he kept getting a bad vibe as if he was being watched "Looks like little Teddy wore himself out" Christian smiled at his sleeping son who lay on the sofa swing set in the garden with attached straps. Grace had been cooing over him all day and even managed to get several pictures of him in the space of a half hour.

"We should get going" Christian told Ana as she went to pick up her son. Grace came over "Oh no please stay the night I haven't seen any of you in ages" she looked to her son "Christian we have plenty of guest rooms and your old bedroom is now a nursery" she could see her son was contemplating what to do in his head when Ana caved "That's perfect, he needs to get to bed it's way past his bedtime anyway" she smiled at her mother in law who was beaming with excitement.

"Oh that's perfect. May I ?" she looked to Ana as she held her arms out for Teddy. "I'll put him down you come and say good night and get back to having a good time. You both need the relation" Grace then took Teddy and kissed Christian on the cheek.

"She's right. We've had one hell of a rollercoaster ride of a year" Christian grinned "So Mrs Grey are you ready to dance with your eager husband before we tuck little Teddy in?" he already had her in his arms looking at her with so much contentment and love

""Why Mr Grey I am" she grinned back as she pecked his lips as he moved across the dance floor skillfully with her in his arms, his feet not missing a step. Ana felt like she was home in his arms as she rested her head against his shoulder as he held her as they danced away not minding the people around them. Elliot interrupted them during the middle of the second dance "Christian stop hogging my sister in law. Ana wanna dance with me ?" he flashed her a wink and grin to which she giggled "Sure come on Elliot" Christian was left on the floor when Kate showed up and he grabbed her "Christian" she slapped him in shock

"Come on now is that any way to treat your brother in law? One dance? Elliot has my Ana" he nodded towards the pair who was laughing at one of Elliot's jokes

"Alright Grey one dance" she rolled her eyes "So where is the little guy?"

"My mother is getting him ready for bed she said she'd call when he is being tucked in" he smiled a genuine smile at her and she couldn't help the grin that formed on her face "You no Christian you should smile more like that" she said and he blushed "No seriously I see why Ana loves when you smile she said I'd know a genuine one when I see one" he blushed a bright red "Would you look at that a speechless and a blushing Christian Grey, who knew?"

"Okay,okay. I'm still human" he laughed at her as Elliot and Ana watched their smiles and laughter

"How much you betting they are gonna kill each other before this night is over?" Elliot said jokingly

"I don't know Elliot, they look like they are getting along but if worse comes to worse my money is on Kate, no matter how many training sessions Christian has or how many hours he runs and heads to the gym that will not protect him from her." Elliot burst out laughing at Ana "I know have you seen her when we're out? I think it's sexy" he admitted loudly before blushing

"Don't worry it will stay between us" Ana laughed as Grace stood waiting for the song to finish. "Sorry Elliot duty calls" she kissed his cheek as she went to Christian's side.

"Give him a kiss from me" Elliot said as he went to retrieve Kate from Christian as they made their way to tuck their son in.

"He's all yours he is laying wide awake in the crib" Grace said as they went through the patio doors and up the stairs just off to the left hand side of the kitchen. Christian smiled as he held Ana's hand she was the same way.

* * *

They heard the fussing coming from the room. Christian opened the door gently and picked his son up cradling him for a moment. "Hey buddy" he kissed his head "Now you be a good boy and go sleepy for daddy and mommy" Teddy grinned and babbled when "ma" came out. Ana took him and kissed his cheeks "Night night sweetie. Mommy loves you Teddy" Ana placed him in the crib and Christian beat her to fixing the blankie on him. He gave him his old bear and blankie from when he was a little kid and Teddy settled immediately. "Goodnight Teddy Bear" Christian held his hand as the infant turned slightly shutting his eyes and falling fast asleep. "Come on he's sleeping" Ana held Christian's hand.

"It's hard to believe we made him" Christian said and Ana smiled

"Yes I know" she grinned at her husband "He's ours and we made him" Christian smiled back at Ana "You're right we better get out of here, he is stirring"

"Night night" he whispered before closing the door gently and shutting the light out. They failed to notice the man who was behind the walk in wardrobe door. As soon as he felt the coast was clear he opened the door slightly with his black gloved covered hands. He stepped out and stood next to the crib peering down and the four month old before him. "Well well well a mini Christian Grey" he whispered as he lightly moved his hand across the baby's face moving the child's copper hair from his eyes. Teddy stirred letting out a small whimper as he opened his eyes staring up at the strange man before him. As a four month old he doesn't understand the good and bad in the world, he's innocent in it all, in stead he smiled a toothless grin up at man. "Quite the smile Grey" Jack smiled back at the baby as he got a grip on Jack's finger "Let's take a little trip huh?" Jack picked Teddy up gently and wrapped him in a blanket and tucked him in under his jacket. He made sure he had a grip on him as he slipped out the window and down the drain pipe and off into the dark night as he left a single note in the crib

___You ruined my life Grey now I am going to ruin yours_

___Game on baby bird._


	16. Game On Hyde

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Is that him?" the figure asked Jack

"Yes you couldn't mistake him for being a Grey. Now about our agreement?" Jacked held the baby in one arm and a gun in the other

"Is there a need for a weapon? What could I possibly do ?"

"Well you have it in for Grey as much as I do so I keep the gun and bye bye if you double cross me" Jack grinned evilly

"What about the baby?" the figures voice was full of concern

"Oh I will make sure he is well looked after or I could bribe money out of Christian. I am sure he would be more than willing to for his son, as you heard he just got back with Ana. I have been watching both of them for some time, he hasn't suspected a thing" Jack was cunning and had his plan to kidnap the child well thought out.

"We need to hide out, I am sure the cops and Christian's squad will be all over the place tonight"

""After you" Jack said as he handed the sleeping child to the figure before him "Oh and Elena I'll be watching" he said as he walked behind her as they both entered the black unmarked car.

* * *

"Christian it's late I need sleep" Ana groaned as he pulled her into a hug on the dance floor. He was tipsy and in a good mood, his brother Elliot got great enjoyment out of him in his state. "Nooooo my Ana"

"Well your Ana needs sleep and so do you Christian, now get your ass up to bed" Ana giggled as Christian looked on in fake horror "Anastasia Grey such a filthy mouth on you" he held his hand to his chest for a dramatic effect. Ana couldn't help but laugh at the state he was in, who knew he was a funny drunk ? "Christian bed, NOW" he smirked at her "Alright my bossy wife" he winked "But I wanna see Teddy first"

"No you're drunk"

"I won't wake him or lift him up I just wanna check him, I promise I'll be quiet" he begged her and she wasn't having any of it "No Christian I will check him you're drunk and I don't want you to fall or anything"

"Fine but can I at least watch from the door then?"

"If you promise not to move from this spot"

"I promise" he mumbled rolling his eyes. Ana ignored him and stood outside the nursery Grace and Carrick had done up from Christian's old room. She opened the door gently and gasped when she seen the empty crib on display "Christian" she barely got out when he sobered up and ran to the crib finding the note "That bastard is going down"

"Who?"

"Jack Hyde"

"No..Christian...Teddy.. he..no ..he has our baby" she cried into Christian's chest as he pulled her into his arms, she was frantic now and Christian felt like someone had torn the heart out of his chest "Ana baby I know it's hard but keep it together I have to get Sawyer and Taylor and let my mom and dad know"

"Teddy" she cried ignoring Christian "He has Teddy"

"I know baby and we are going to get him back but you need to listen to me if we are going to work this out okay?" christian held her face between his hands wiping the tears as the fell from her eyes. She couldn't handle this, she went through hell to protect him from the time she found out she was pregnant and she felt she had failed as a mother in some way "Ana it's not your fault"

"We should have just taken him home" she cried further as he whipped out his blackberry and began dialling numbers when a frantic bunch piled into the room "Oh Ana" Kate cried "We are going to get him back it's going to be okay" she held Ana as Christian paced the room cursing like no tomorrow "Christian" Grace scolded him "I'm sorry mother but if that bastard touches as much as a hair on my son's head I will kill him myself" his eyes filled with anger frightened his mother

"Christian getting angry and being like this wont help. I know Sawyer and Taylor are already helping with searching the grounds and getting some friends involved but the detectives will be here soon" Grace tried to reassure her anger driven son, he knew he seen him earlier and he did nothing about it. "Bastard" he shouted and the room went silent

"Mr Grey? We found this outside" Taylor said handing Teddy's pacifier to him "He must have been taken out the window of the nursery this was found near the far in the garden" he said sympathetically

"Taylor, Sawyer" he addressed the two of them "You two are do a lot of searching and pull some strings and I'll pay. I want my son found and that fucker Hyde is going to get it. Do you hear me?"

"Sir" Taylor nodded "We will find him Mr Grey" Taylor tried to ease Christian's mood and Ana looked to him smiling slightly as Christian sat on the floor of the nursery his head in his hands "Son you need to try calm yourself. Ana is already in a state she needs you to be strong for her" Carrick reminded him

"He has our son and he could be doing god knows what to him. I can't be calm" he mumbled a few tears shedding "Dad he's only four months old"

"I know son" he held his shoulder and brought him into a hug when Taylor interrupted "Mr Grey the detectives put out an amber alert with a recent photo your mother took earlier today. He's all over the news we are bound to find him some how. It will take time" he said

"Thank you Taylor" he nodded at him and went to Ana's side "We're going to get him back" he said kissing her forehead as his family watched the news from tv in the main bedroom of the house, they had all moved from the nursery to there and took a place on the bed while Carrick and Grace began making tea for the girls and getting the men a bit of scotch. Christian held onto Ana as she felt the sleep over take her, she mumbled "Find our son Christian" as she curled up fast asleep in his arms from the crying.

* * *

As Ana slept Christian moved to allow Kate to lie with her and he went to stand with his brother "You know the kidnapper?" Elliot asked not caring over his tear streaked face "Christian?"

"He's Ana's ex boss a nasty fucker who made a pass at her and tried to rape her. If he harms my kid he's dead" Elliot's jaw dropped at his brother's words

"He wouldn't harm Teddy would he?"

"He better not but I don't know" he sighed as he took the piece of paper out of his pocket re reading it over

_You ruined my life Grey now I am going to ruin yours_

_Game on baby bird._

"Game on Hyde" he muttered to himself as he crumpled the paper in his fist


	17. Restless Nights

A/N So last night because it was exam results I got really drunk and well I paid for it all day today. I had the most horrible hangover you could ever experience I was bed ridden all day and slept for most of it. My mammy though looked after me though :)

So I decided since I am feeling a bit better I will type up a chapter for you guys :) You have all been so nice with the reviews and the ones for chapter 15 and 16 were hilarious, geez who knew you could all be so violent LOL I promise little Teddy will not be harmed in any way shape or form because child abuse and stuff like that sickens me. I know it's only a character but I couldn't bring myself to write about a baby being abused or anything like it.

I hope these chapters are to your satisfaction and review if you want to like I am not begging or anything ;) (please?) Kidding anyway happy reading

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

Teddy slept for most of the ride tucked in Elena's arms. He didn't know he was being kidnapped by two psychotic maniacs who have it for his parents. Jack glanced at the sleeping infant from time to time as Elena eyed the gun in the glove compartment "Don't even think about it" Jack took the gun from the compartment and put it inside his jacket pocket "We had a deal Elena when we contact the Greys looking for money and they give it we split it 50/50"

"Alright but just don't hurt the baby that's not part of our deal" Teddy stirred and began to cry out loudly. He was due another feed "Jack he's hungry"

"I already have a ready made bottle of formula in that bad beside your feet" Elena looked through the bag. She found the bottle and tried to feed Teddy who was crying hysterically now "Jack he wont feed?"

"Well he should unless... Ah fuck" he slammed his hands on the steering wheel "He probably breast feeds" Elena said "What the hell are we supposed to do let him starve?"

"Can you shut the fuck up and shut that kid up I am trying to think" Jack shouted as he drove into his drive. He had a fairly big house not far from his old work place before he was bought out of a job. "Keep him quiet I don't want to draw attention to the house"

"Ssssh there's a good boy" Elena rocked him and frustrated Jack took the child from her arms and began to hum to him as he rocked him back and forth as they got inside the house. "alright little fella" Jack had a made up bed in the living room with his pull out couch bed "Sleep" he told the infant who kicked again whimpering "Let's give mommy and daddy a call, I can't have you going hungry now can I?" he watched as the red eyed tear streaked face baby fell fast asleep hungry and exhausted "You" he pointed to Elena "Keep an eye on him I have a call to make" Jack went to the office upstairs to fetch his phone

* * *

"Christian?" Ana woke up with a gasp as she looked around the room for her husband. She had fell asleep three hours ago and woke up from a nightmare. It all came back to her when she realized her son was still missing. She found her husband along with Elliot, Kate, Carrick and Grace sitting in the kitchen "Ana? Hey I thought you were resting?"

"I can't with all of this going on. He has my baby" she whimpered as he took her in his arms "Teddy should be due a feed and he is probably hungry he doesn't really like the formula stuff"

"I know, but we are going to get him back I promise you that Ana. Teddy will be fine and he will be back in your arms before you know it" he kissed her head as she cried into his chest "We were going to try be a real family together and this shit happens" she looked up to him saying it aloud not caring who was in the room "That bastard will be castrated if he harms a hair on Teddy's head" she said as Christian's jaw dropped

"Ana Grey" Kate scolded her "When did you get so violent and I know that Jack guy deserves it" Kate grinned at Ana who smiled a bit through her tears "Ana dear would you like some tea?"

"Come on and sit down" Elliot said as he got up and gave her a hug "Mom make that tea with extra sugar it will help with the nerves" Eliot said over Ana's shoulder. Ana hugged her brother in law back and sat down next to Kate as Grace handed her a cup of tea "Ana, Christian basically has the navy seals out looking for your kid you will get him back" Kate rubbed her back soothingly

"I just can't believe this out of all things happened" she sighed as she stared ahead at the tv screen watching the pictures of her son flash across the news. He had been the top story for the past few hours and a few tv shows had to be rescheduled because of it. "Christian has been on the blackberry non stop for hours now"

"I know but I can't just sit around anymore" Ana stood pacing the kitchen "Elliot?" Kate looked over to him worriedly "Ana come on try and relax" Elliot said standing going towards her

"How the fuck am i supposed to relax when my defenceless four month old son is out there with that lunatic doing god knows what to him" she screamed at both Elliot and Kate who just stared at her in shock and sympathy when she broke down in tears again. Carrick was by her side when Christian came back into the room to find his mother and wife crying and his father holding Ana in his arms whispering words of comfort to her "I'm sorry" she said audibly as she was tucked in her father in laws arms "Don't worry Ana dear, it's understandable no mother should be going through this" Carrick said as she spotted Christian and ran to his arms "I want my baby" she cried

"That bastard is going to pay big time when I get my hands on him" Christian said when the sound of a phone going off silenced the room. Christian walked towards the counter to see a private number ringing. He picked up his phone and placed it to his ear answering it with a click of a button"Hello?" he said nervously

"Well, well,well Mr Grey. Are you missing something?"


	18. Hyde & Seek

A/N Terrible sorry about the long wait I have had a bit of a party week between results night and my grans 70th party on Saturday, I had a very bad hangover on sunday and I couldn't do anything at all. I still can't believe how much I drank this week, no more for me until my debs (prom) in september.

I am delighted at the fact that I have managed to write 17 chapters, I usually finish around the tenth chapter I usually have no interest in going further with stories but I am proud to announce you will have 18 and 19 today :)

I couldn't do much with the chapters this week because my laptop also decided to freeze a few times on me. I have it fixed so everything should be a-okay from here on out.

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"What have you done with my son?" Christian couldn't keep his cool with Jack's comments of his son over the phone. "Jack where is he?" he pleaded

"Calm down baby bird, little Teddy is right here well not with me at the moment but someone who used to be close to you when you were younger" he said sneakily into the phone "In fact she hasn't a clue when it comes to babies he seems to cry a lot in her arms, he seems quite taken in mine" he laughed tormenting Christian who sat in the kitchen with Ana who was sobbing, his blackberry was on loudspeaker with Taylor and Sawyer with their high tech equipment trying to trace the call "Though little Teddy is getting hungry so I need you to get several bottles of breast milk ready within the hour, you don't want your little guy going hungry now do you?" he taunted Christian when Ana let out an audible sob "Well hello Ana"

"Jack please let Teddy go" she pleaded through her tears

"I'm afraid I can't do that just yet but don't worry I wont harm him, I can't be too sure with Elena after what I discovered what she did to Christian at such a young age" he teased when Taylor looked to Christian signalling the call was traced. "You have let me see thirty minutes to get me several bottles or you will never see your son ever again" the call was ended with a loud click of the phone.

"Mr Grey" Taylor was ready to move in on Jack Hyde "Mr Grey" he repeated again. "Christian" he shouted when he looked up and snapped out of the trance he was in "I have the location and I have back up calls made everyone is ready to go. Now let's go and get your son" he said almost pulling Christian towards the SUV. Ana sobbed into Gail's arms as she watched Christian leave "I can't lose both of them" she whimpered "Ana hunny you won't lose either of them, Taylor has his best men on the job they know where Teddy is they are going to his location now"

"That bitch Elena is part of it too" she cried "She hurt my husband and she is with my four month old now" she tried to get free of Mrs Jones' grasp on her when Sawyer grabbed her as gently as he could "Mrs Grey I made a promise to your husband I would keep you safe here, let Mr Grey and Taylor go to get Teddy there is no need to endanger both yourself and Teddy's lives, if anything happened to you Mr Grey would go insane and you know that" he said slightly releasing his grip on her as she sunk to the floor in tears.

"I need my baby" she cried "and I need my husband too" she sat defeated on the floor of the foyer crying her eyes out as Sawyer and Mrs Jones watched trying their best to comfort the young mother and wife before them

* * *

"Mr Grey we're here" he said "We have the bottles of milk prepared in case he tries something" he said as they both proceeded towards the location, Taylor staying back until he was notified to go further. "Mr Grey he won't be able to get out of there we have the place surrounded" he lightly held the younger mans shoulder

"Thank you Taylor" his voice broken and he sounded nervous "If I don't come out make sure you get Teddy out and look him and Ana I coul-"

"There will be no need because both you and Teddy are going home to Ana tonight I will make sure of that" he said as he handed the bag over to Christian

"Hyde" Christian shouted as two shadows came out of the darkness as Christian went towards them alone. "Christian Grey" he said as he stepped out of the darkness revealing himself and Elena who stood holding Teddy asleep in her arms.

"Teddy" he breathed when his son was in his view "Elena" he growled angrily "Christian" she said he head kept down she wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Why are you helping him?" he spat "what is this another fucker you can manipulate?"

"I didn't mean for it to go as far as this Christian but I'm broke, the company folded and I can't afford the mortgage anymore I on-"

"So you help kidnap my four month old defenceless son? You really are a sick twisted bitch, I bet this is because I married Ana, she actually loves me and always tells me that she doesn't treat me they way you ever did. You were jealous because I stopped showing you attention so you go and take my son from me and Ana?" he was clenching his fists

"Well enough of the ex- lovers spat I believe I asked for the bottles for little guy over here" he said as he took a sleeping Teddy into his arms. "Now Christian" he said as he held out his gun on show

"Jack don't" Elena said and was silenced the the gunshot to he chest just above her heart "Christian the bag now"

"You killed he-"

"I know I killed her she was becoming quite a pain I don't know how you put up with her for so long" Christian watched as the life drained from Elena. He then brought his eyes to his now screaming son "Say goodbye to daddy" Jack brought the gun to the child's head when a deafening crack of a gun sounded "No" Christian's broken scream echoed in the dark night


	19. A Safe Return

**A/N Sorry for the cliffhanger I needed to post that chapter until this one was in the works.**

* * *

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Teddy" he cried as he ran forwards as he collapsed next to a lifeless Jack Hyde as Taylor rushed to help both him and Teddy out. "Taylor my son" he started to cry

"Teddy is fine Mr Grey" he said as he gently placed the baby in his arms "See for yourself" he said smiling as the place was swarmed with police and FBI agents. "Come on Mr Grey I believe there is someone at home is very anxious for your return" he smiled as he helped Christian to stand to his feet as he carried his son in his arms. He took one look back at the two lifeless bodies and back to his son "They got off lightly" he said

"They are out of your life for good just remember that Christian" he said as he proceeded to the car with Christian sending Sawyer a message on their return. He drove towards their home glancing in the rear view mirror at the sleeping father and son tucked safely in Christian's arms under his torn shirt.

* * *

"Mrs Grey I suggest you try to sit down and relax, this is not good for your health" Sawyer had just read the text and felt he had to do something in order to calm her down, Taylor had given strict instructions that she was not to be told of anything. Mrs Jones had made several calls for Christian's family to come and try settle Ana after they had left only hours before upon request. "Mrs Grey your mother and father in law have arrived with Elliot and Kate" Sawyer told her when Kate rushed in and Ana dived into her arms "I haven't spoken to Christian since he left two hours ago, something must be wrong" Sawyer put his hand on her shoulder and helped her to sit on the sofa in the tv room as they watched the news

"Elliot have you heard from him?" Elliot lied Taylor had sent the message to him also because he was the eldest brother and was taking a liking to all the fancy equipment Taylor and Sawyer had "I'm sorry Ana" he lied to her face as he stepped out of the room with Sawyer "I can't keep lying to her when will they be here ?" Elliot was panicking incase Kate found out, she would kill him for lying seeing Ana's distress over her son and husband.

"I talked to them a while ago they should be here n-" Sawyer didn't get to finish his sentence when Christian burst through the door carrying his son and Taylor trailing behind full of smiles

"Ana" Christian said as he entered the house, she couldn't believe her ears when her husband cam in wearing a torn looking shirt carrying their son under it. Carrick, Grace, Kate and Elliot watched as Ana ran to her husbands waiting arms careful not to hurt her son who was now being handed to her "Oh Teddy" she kissed every inch of her sons face as her tears were freely flowing "Christian" he wrapped his arms around her "It's okay we're both here, he's okay" he was crying himself "I nearly lost him tonight" he saddened

"Mr Grey had it under control I just helped last minute" Taylor interrupted them as Mrs Jones wrapped her arms around him kissing him. "Thank you" she mouthed as she held Teddy close to her savoring the moment of having him back in her arms with her husband by her side. Ana was unaware that christian had helped her to the sofa as they both rested their heads back as their family gathered around them

"Elena,Jack?" Ana asked as Christian looked away, he felt sick at what he witnessed tonight

"They're gone Mrs Grey. Jack shot Elena and was going to harm little Teddy, I shot him" he said watching her expression turning from tense one to relaxed as she leaned into her husband with her son in her arms, he stirred in between them as he opened his eyes letting out a small whimper. He recognised the voices and the faces above him and a toothless smile appeared on his face as he kicked his legs excitedly "da, ma,baba,ah" he babbled as Ana kissed his cheeks "Hi Teddy Bear" he cuddled him as Mrs Jones brought in a heated bottle "Here you are Ana"

"Thank you" she took the bottle placing it to her son's eager mouth "You're hungry"

* * *

"Thank you, all of you" Ana looked up to as Carrick and Grace sat near her while Elliot sat with Kate on his lap on the opposite side of his brother. "Hey there bro" he smiled "Hi little buddy" Elliot smiled over to Teddy who was half finished his bottle as he refused to drink fussing "You coming?" Elliot reached for him

"Hi"

"bababa" Teddy gurgled up at his uncle as Kate shifted to give him space "Yeah you too little guy, you had us all worried huh? I heard that nasty man ruined your high tops too" The room was in full blown laughter at Elliot and as Teddy made it like he was having a conversation with him "Yeah I'll sort you out with a new pair" Teddy yawned sleepily

"Looks like he needs some sleep" Elliot handed him back to Christian

"He's not the only one" he looked over as an exhausted Ana lay back asleep on the sofa. "Well we better get going and leave you to it. Christian watched as his mother and father left along with Elliot and Kate who was a bit reluctant to go "Mr Grey would you like me to carry Mrs Grey upstairs for you?" Taylor offered as he stood with Sawyer and Mrs Jones

* * *

"No leave her there, I think I'll stay here too he said as he propped his feet up and Teddy curled up on his chest as Ana managed to curl up under his arm. Mrs Jones went and fetched a blanket to cover the sleeping three. "Gail come on leave them rest, they had a very eventful week between getting back together and Teddy with Jack and Elena"

"I know it was horrible to see them both like that" she said as she looked back at the peaceful faces of christian and Ana with their sleeping son on Christian's chest under his shirt. "come on" Taylor smiled as Gail shed a tear as he lead her away from them leaving them to rest.


	20. Back To Normal

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Teddy" Ana bolted up from where she was sleeping to find Christian and Teddy wrapped in his embrace fast asleep. She smiled at the sleeping pair and got up to fetch a glass of water. In the mean time Christian had awoken due to her absence. He managed to slip Teddy out from the warmth of his shirt and place him upstairs in his nursery, he double checked the windows were locked and the alarm system was on before heading back downstairs to find Ana. She was caught up in her own world when he entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist, she jumped with the fright "Christian" she breathed out a sigh of relief when he smiled down at her.

"Sorry for scaring you" he nuzzled her neck and rested his head on her shoulder as she leaned back to the comfort of his arms. They stayed like that for a few moments when she spoke "What time is it?"

"Just a little after six" he said yawning. "I think Mr Grey needs more sleep"

"I hav-" he barely got out another sentence when he yawned again. The lack of sleep was getting to him, dark rings had begun to form under his eyes and he was slightly paler than usual "Come on baby we both need the sleep, even the staff do to let them sleep in" Ana held Christian's hand as she pulled him from the kitchen and up the stairs where they were met by three sleepy heads, Sawyer,Taylor and Mrs Jones.

"Oh Mr Grey, Mrs Grey. Good mor-" Gail yawned "Oh excuse me" she half smiled and blushed

"Gail I think it's time you called us Christian and Ana, I am quite tired of the formalities around the house we are friends after all. So why don't you three go back to your rooms and catch up on some well needed sleep. Teddy is fast asleep and he's fed so he will be fine for another few hours" Christian said sleepily with his arm over Ana's shoulders as they began to make their way to their bedroom. They both stripped down to their underwear and plopped on the bed "Oh I forgot how comfy this bed is" Ana smiled over at her husband who was on his way to the land of nod at this point "hmmm it's even better you're here" he said as he pulled Ana close to him as he wrapped his arms around her cuddling his wife as he sighed in contentment. Ana through her free arm over his waist as she laid her head on his chest whispering "I love you Christian" she as "I love you Ana" barely escaped his lips as he fell into a deep sleep with his wife by his side.

* * *

"bababa" Teddy was babbling away as he sat at the kitchen counter on Taylor's lap while Gail and Sawyer sipped mugs of coffee laughing at the baby. They had woken around 1pm to hear the little guy fussing so instead of waking his exhausted parents they decided to give a hand considering they were told to go back to bed earlier that morning. "Yeah I did too. No more meanies getting past me aye little fella?" Taylor said straight back to Teddy who grinned

"baba.. da..ma.. ma" Teddy smiled in between his barely recognised baby talk as Sawyer took him from Taylor's arms "Hmm I bet you will be some lady killer huh? Your mommy will be beating the women away from the door for you huh?" Gail and Taylor chuckled as Sawyer bounced Teddy gently on his knee as he head the little laughs erupt from him. As they continued to play and talk to Teddy they didn't hear Christian and Ana who stood just outside the kitchen for the past fifteen minutes listening to them trying to hold in their laughter "Let me hold him" they heard Gail say as she took Teddy into her arms "See you and your cheeky Grey grin, while you smile you had us all so worried little fella" she cooed at the baby as he responded with more baby talk no one could understand.

"Teddy seems to have taken to those three quite well" Christian said as he had an arm wrapped around her waist as she leaned into his touch "Why wouldn't he? He has been around all three since the moment he was born? Plus what's not to like about them?" Ana smiled up at Christian as she pecked him on the lips. They felt well rested and refreshed after that sleep and wanted nothing more than a nice hot meal and to hold their son who was back safe and sound. "We should do something for them"

"Like what?" he asked looking to his wife

"Maybe a break away from all of this? Send them to the holiday home you bought only last year?" she suggested "We can manage on our own for three weeks and yes I said three weeks they obviously need it and with Jason and Gail together maybe let Luke take his girlfriend he hasn't seen her in a few days only called her." she pointed out to her husband.

"That's not a bad idea but how about we let them know later" he said winking, he had a trick or two up his sleeves.

"Ah Mr Gr- I mean Christian" Gail said smiling with a grinning Teddy in her arms "What would you like to eat?"

"I was thinking we could all have a picnic in the garden ? It's a nice day out side and I am sure you all need a bit of relaxation?" Christian smiled at Gail who was a bit shocked but didn't turn down his offer. She didn't have time to respond when Taylor cut in joking "I think I need several beers with that too" Ana burst into a fit of laughter at him and Christian grinned "That can be arranged too"

"Uhm I was joking Mr Grey... I mean Christian"

"Relax Jason" he laughed "I know" Taylor just smiled back at him and then over to Ana as if to say 'who is he and what has he done with my boss' "So picnic ?" Christian asked all three again who nodded their heads eagerly "We can all help prepare some food for it. Teddy can sit in his bouncer chair in the tv room, he stays quiet when Tom & Jerry come on surprisingly" Ana pipped up

* * *

Thirty minutes later and two basket full of food and two large picnic blankets they all sat comfortably out under the warmth of the sun in the back garden chatting away forgetting the earlier events of the week. Ana and Gail chatted about Christian and Taylor as the earned a few winks from their men while Sawyer, Taylor and Christian were in conversation about soccer, cars and other big boys toys. Teddy lay on the picnic blanket kicking away as he managed to roll over onto his stomach and kicked more grinning as he knew he caught the attention of his parents "Aww look at him" Gail said as she patted his back gently "There you go little fella, it wont be long before he begins to crawl" she smiled at Ana and then to Christian.

"Come on buddy" Christian lay flat on his stomach stretched out facing his son who was babbling away and nearly eating his pudgy fist "Your getting to be a big boy huh?" Christian watched as Teddy rolled on his back, he then tickled his sons stomach earning a little squeal of laughter and a grin, the famous one his dad often wore.

"You'll have your hands full with this little guy" Taylor said as he slapped Christian's shoulder lightly as he stood back up taking Teddy into his arms "He'll be some heart breaker with that grin"

"Like his daddy I bet, I heard Mia's friends were quite disappointed when they heard you were engaged to Ana" Gail said to Christian who chuckled at her words remembering that day as clear as a bell. "They wouldn't even compare to her beauty" he said winking at Ana and earning a blush in return "See I still have it" he joked to his son who did nothing to but smile as the people around him laughed.

* * *

"Looks like we better head in it's getting quite nippy" Ana said as Teddy began fussing. He was beginning to get tired again. The men cleared up the picnic blankets and baskets while Gail and Ana took Teddy inside and bathed him and fed him before putting him down to rest. "Sleep tight Teddy Bear" Ana placed a kiss to her son's cheeks as Gail shut his bedroom window and locked it. They went downstairs to find Christian sitting with Jason and Luke drinking a beer watching the game on tv. They left them to it and sat in the kitchen drinking tea and coffee.

"Ana" Christian poked his head in the door and called her out "Wanna tell them now? I have the plane set and I may have prepared a new wardrobe for them all when they arrive" the sparkle in his eyes showed he was excited to do this for his most trusted employees who he could call his friends.

"Yeah let's tell them" she said eagerly as she called Gail out to them when Christian shouted down to the tv room "Jason, Luke" he waved his hand and they moved quickly over to them.

"Christian?" Jason asked

"It has been brought to my attention that since you all worked for me you need a break. So I decided" he got out when Ana interrupted him "Ahem?" she raised her eyebrows looking at her husband who grinned "Ana brought it to my attention and she decided we should give you a three week break in our new holiday home in Tahoe, it's a beach side holiday home and it's perfect this time of year. I have already made the arrangements and I already have sorted out flights on my jet and you wont need to spend a cent I have everything you need paid for. Luke your girlfriend is actually meeting you at the airport in forty minutes so I suggest you take the car and Jason and Gail, you wouldn't want to keep her waiting" Christian finished leaving an awe struck trio in front of him

"Guys he's being serious, get going you don't wanna miss the flight"

"How?.. I...this is.." Gail was speechless. She couldn't string a full sentence together.

"Gail you can thank me in three weeks by returning safely" he smiled before giving her a hug causing her to cry happy tears "Oh thank you" she said as Christian slapped Jason and Luke on their backs giving them a nudge towards the front door "We will be fine for three weeks, Ana did it by herself for nine months so I think we can manage" Christian chuckled

"Bye Ana" Gail said hugging her as she followed the men out the door. Ana smiled at her husband as they watched the suv leave the driveway. "They were so not expecting that" Christian grinned

"Did you see their faces?" Ana said excitedly "They do appreciate that"

"I know they do and they worked hard to earn it" Christian embraced his wife in a hug as they heard the little cries from their son "I'll get him" Christian said as Ana closed the front door and began to make her way to the kitchen to prepare some dinner for them. "He was just lonely and wanted to be held" Christian grinned as Ana chopped up some vegetables and chicken for a stir fry.

* * *

"What you making?" Christian asked as he bounced Teddy gently in his arms

"Some dinner for my man" she grinned at him

"I'll go watch some tv with Teddy then and leave you to it" he kissed her on the lips before leaving the room with his son. As Ana filled the plates with the food she took the plates and cutlery to the tv room and laid the plates on the small coffee table as she took Teddy and placed him on his play mat with colourful soft toys. She sat beside her husband and began eating away watching their son with smiles on their faces as they sat in contentment like a normal happy family.


	21. Epilogue

**Holding On & Letting Go**

"Teddy slow down" Ana grinned as her now two year old son ran around the garden with his soccer ball his Uncle Elliot bought him.

"Ana he's two and he's a boy he's not going to listen to you plus let him run around it's his birthday anyway" Elliot grinned cheekily over at her to which she just stuck out her tongue back at him "Oh real mature Ana" he grinned

"Shut it Elliot don't you know it's dangerous to piss a pregnant woman off ?" She threatened him laughing at him to which he raised his hands in mock surrender "Easy girl"

"Christian" she yelled "If your brother knows what's good for him he will shut up" Christian and Elliot grinned to one another before running around after Teddy with the soccer ball. They had a family get-to-gether for Teddy and ordered a bouncy castle for him to play on and even ordered a small ball pool too. "Elliot don't mess with my best friend" Kate raised her eye brows at him and he stopped annoying her immediately. "How do you put up with him?"

"The same way you manage to put up with Christian and Teddy whilst being pregnant" she joked back at her when Grace came and sat with Ana "How are you both doing?" Grace asked as Ana rubbed her five month growing bump and Kate held her bundle of joy in her arms "Great" they said in unison and Grace giggled "I'll leave you to it because I want a birthday kiss off my grandson" she said as she made her way towards the group of men who chased Teddy around the garden.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us" Ana raised her eye brow at Kate "Oh come on Ana I would have like to be there"

"It was a private thing just for me and Christian and plus it was when we found out I was pregnant again, he wanted to reassure me we wouldn't go through what we did the last time so he wanted us to renew our wedding vows. We got dressed up so did Teddy, you seen the photos Kate" Ana said giggling as Kate frowned

"but still it was a mini service" she pouted

"It was better with just the four of us" she patted her bump gently grinning at Kate

"I suppose" she sighed "So how is money bags treating you?"

"He's always checking on me 24/7 as you can imagine but he gives me space, I was used to it for so long he knows I can handle myself" she smiled "We have had our arguments though but nothing we can't handle" Kate smiled at Ana's words

"Even after this amount of time you both look at each other like you are the only ones in the room, it's like you never came back from that honeymoon stage. Kate chuckled as Ana blushed "I don't wanna know" she joked as Ana covered her face

* * *

"Mama" Teddy ran towards his mother with Christian and Elliot hot on his tail "Hi baby" she kissed his cheeks "Look" he held out another bag of gifts that Gail, Jason, Luke and his girlfriend had bought and he clapped his hands grinning like his father did. Ana smiled and placed him on her lap when he jumped down "no"

"No?" she looked at her son "what's wrong Teddy Bear?" she was a bit anxious at his frantic movement

"Sissy" he pointed to his mother's bump before placing his hands on it and kissing it through the fabric before running off to his grandparents who sat in the grass relaxing "He is every bit like you christian" Ana said as she seen a proud smile on her husbands face. Elliot grinned to Kate as he took his four week old daughter into his arms as Kate got up to go sit with her husband joining everyone on the picnic blankets on the grass as Teddy entertained them.

* * *

"Looking back two years ago did you see yourself like this?" Ana asked him as she stood up as he wrapped his arms gently around her with one hand on her bump

"Honestly? No I didn't think I could do it at all. But we did" he smiled down at Ana who leaned into his chest breathing in that al too familiar scent she loved: Christian.

"I can't believe he is two years old today and this little one will be along soon" Christian said as he rubbed Ana's bump affectionately earning a small kick that they both shed a tear at. "Kate was upset we never said anything over renewing our wedding vows" she admitted

"I bet she was" he laughed "But I thought you didn't want them there"

"I didn't even though she is kinda giving me a guilt trip, I didn't do it for show I just wanted you and Teddy there and little miss who is doing somersaults in my womb at the moment" she joked as Christian grinned "I wanted to do it for us not to impress people"

"I know baby, I know" he kissed her temple as they made there way across the lawn to sit with their families. Ana had forgiven Christian even though it took a very long and tiresome time to do, she couldn't live without him and he couldn't do it either. Their families watched their heartbreak over the time they were apart and knew even in the short time they met and married they were always meant for each other.

"Okay just Teddy, Ana and Christian" Kate said as Jose got ready to snap a photograph of the three of them sitting on the grass with Teddy in the middle eating his cake with both parents grinning at him "Now Jose" Kate said low enough so they wouldn't ruin the family moment as Jose snapped several pictures smiling at the outcome. Ana cleaned Teddy up and leaned in to kiss her husband, despite what he may have done in the past she managed to look past it as they were Holding On to each other and Letting Go of the past as they made their own future together.

_**Fin.**_


	22. SEQUEL NOW ONLINE

**SEQUEL TO HOLDING ON & LETTING GO NOW AVAILABLE.**

The second part to the story is now online for those who would like to go and read it, it's called **She Don't Like The Lights.**


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